Friday, January 9, 2009

Get Off. Get Out.

Cairns, Australia -

A local sex shop has been experiencing a rash of strange crimes in which the criminal smashes through the walls of the store and steals blow-up dolls for romantic interludes.

"He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley," said the store's owner. "It is totally bizarre. It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street."

The offender is both discriminating (he has taken a particular liking to a blow-up model called "Jungle Jane," which was stolen on both break-ins) and weirdly gentlemanly (he always cleans up after himself). The culprit could also be described as "extremely stupid," since he left his, sperm, DNA, and fingerprints all over his ill-gotten partners.

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