Saturday, December 22, 2007

Monday, December 3, 2007

Dumbest Human Award Nominee

FLORENCE, Italy - A Macau casino mogul bid a record $330,00 at auction Saturday to win a giant white truffle dug up in Tuscany, organizers said.

Billionaire Stanley Ho made the winning bid for the 3.3 pound truffle during an auction staged simultaneously in Florence, London and at Ho's Grand Lisboa hotel in Macau, said auction organizer Giselle Oberti.

The price bested the previous record for a truffle of $212,000, she said.

The unusually heavy truffle was dug up last week by truffle hunter Cristiano Savini, his father Luciano and dog Rocco in Palaia, a town about 25 miles from Pisa. The Savinis said Rocco started sniffing "like crazy" when he zeroed in on the fungus.

Guinness World Records lists a 2.86 pound white truffle found in Croatia in 1999 as the biggest.

Truffles usually weigh from 1 to 2.8 ounces apiece. Slivers of white truffles, with their strong aroma, are prized in Italy to flavor pasta sauces and rice dishes.

Proceeds from the auction were to go to an Italian organization that helps sufferers of genetic diseases, a group that helps street children in London and Catholic charities in Macau.

Calls to Ho weren't immediately returned late Saturday.

Chimp Champ or Chump?

NEW YORK - Never mind that TV show that asks if you're smarter than a fifth-grader. Is your memory better than a young chimp's?

Maybe not.

Japanese researchers pitted young chimps against human adults in two tests of short-term memory, and overall, the chimps won.

That challenges the belief of many people, including many scientists, that "humans are superior to chimpanzees in all cognitive functions," said researcher Tetsuro Matsuzawa of Kyoto University.

"No one can imagine that chimpanzees — young chimpanzees at the age of 5 — have a better performance in a memory task than humans," he said in a statement.

Matsuzawa, a pioneer in studying the mental abilities of chimps, said even he was surprised. He and colleague Sana Inoue report the results in Tuesday's issue of the journal Current Biology.

One memory test included three 5-year-old chimps who'd been taught the order of Arabic numerals 1 through 9, and a dozen human volunteers.

They saw nine numbers displayed on a computer screen. When they touched the first number, the other eight turned into white squares. The test was to touch all these squares in the order of the numbers that used to be there.

Results showed that the chimps, while no more accurate than the people, could do this faster.

One chimp, Ayumu, did the best. Researchers included him and nine college students in a second test.

This time, five numbers flashed on the screen only briefly before they were replaced by white squares. The challenge, again, was to touch these squares in the proper sequence.

When the numbers were displayed for about seven-tenths of a second, Ayumu and the college students were both able to do this correctly about 80 percent of the time.

But when the numbers were displayed for just four-tenths or two-tenths of a second, the chimp was the champ. The briefer of those times is too short to allow a look around the screen, and in those tests Ayumu still scored about 80 percent, while humans plunged to 40 percent.

That indicates Ayumu was better at taking in the whole pattern of numbers at a glance, the researchers wrote.

"It's amazing what this chimpanzee is able to do," said Elizabeth Lonsdorf, director of the Lester E. Fisher Center for the Study and Conservation of Apes at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. The center studies the mental abilities of apes, but Lonsdorf didn't participate in the new study.

She admired Ayumu's performance when the numbers flashed only briefly on the screen.

"I just watched the video of that and I can tell you right now, there's no way I can do it," she said. "It's unbelievable. I can't even get the first two (squares)."

What's going on here? Even with six months of training, three students failed to catch up to the three young chimps, Matsuzawa said in an e-mail.

He thinks two factors gave his chimps the edge. For one thing, he believes human ancestors gave up much of this skill over evolutionary time to make room in the brain for gaining language abilities.

The other factor is the youth of Ayumu and his peers. The memory for images that's needed for the tests resembles a skill found in children, but which dissipates with age. In fact, the young chimps performed better than older chimps in the new study. (Ayumu's mom did even worse than the college students).

So the next logical step, Lonsdorf said, is to fix up Ayumu with some real competition on these tests: little kids.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

god bless rhode island.

NORTH KINGSTOWN, R.I. - It was at the Honey Dew Donut shop that Cyndi LaRose and her honey said, "I do."

LaRose and Joseph David Smith exchanged wedding vows Wednesday at the North Kingstown shop where they had met.

Marjorie Harrison, the baker, made the food. Faraq Mohamed, the shop's owner, greeted customers with a simple question: "Coffee or the wedding?" A former probate judge conducted the ceremony. The shop's regulars served as the witnesses.

"I had the privilege of knowing Joe and Cyndi before they met," Mohamed said. "I watched as they fell in love."

LaRose, 49, a caregiver for Coventry Home Care, has been coming to the shop for years. Smith, 58, who works at Kingstown Mobile Home Park, started coming when his niece worked behind the counter.

"I saw this good-looking guy standing up there," LaRose said. "He was a country-looking guy, the type I look for, the Grizzly Adams type."

But they didn't really fall in love until they helped Mohamed with an errand a few weeks ago. Two days later, Smith asked her to marry him. They picked out rings last week.

They thought about having the ceremony on the beach, but decided it was too cold. The doughnut shop is a casual place where most of their friends hang out anyway, so it was a perfect fit.

"I don't even own a dress," LaRose said.

"You couldn't get me in a tie," Smith said.

The couple planned to spend a Thanksgiving weekend honeymoon at a Connecticut casino.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

crazy guy.

Series of videos indicating numerous rapes committed against me as a means of gaining advantage in civil lawsuits. Indicates police corruption, death threats and murder attempts. SOME OF MY EVIDENCE IS POINTED TO BELOW!
Name: Windsor
I've uploaded MP3s to MySpace ( which contain evidence of the murder attempt on me if not the rapes themselves. For clarification please read the message that follows and is part of my MySpace "Away" message: In the backgrounds of these recordings—all recorded on the night of April 13, 2007 in the third floor sleeping dorm of a men's homeless shelter, Pacific Garden Mission, 646 South State Street, Chicago, Illinois 60605 (PGM)—you can hear individuals who had raped me at PGM before that day speaking of a murder attempt which was to be made on my life by members of the Chicago Police Department (CPD). Given that people in PGM had spoken behind me while I recorded myriad times, I had taken to drowning out what was said in my recordings' backgrounds. I was unable to listen to the recordings at issue until sometime on April 15, 2007.
Meanwhile, on the morning of April 14, 2007, about eight (8) CPD officers surrounded me at the corner of State and Congress Streets in downtown Chicago, walked up to where I stood, and created a circle around me no more than twelve (12) inches from my person. This effectively blocked anyone outside the circle from viewing what occurred within the circle, e.g., it precluded those outside from being able to assess whether I was complying with whatever the officers asked me to do and whether I was being aggressive. I, for some reason, immediately raised my hands into the air and very loudly requested to be handcuffed. I was carrying my backpack and laptop bag at the time—as I usually do—but lifted my hands with them still on, because of the officers proximity. Startled, the officers backed away some, handcuffed me and searched me. The intersection is busy and at least twenty (20) cars were around during the incident. The officers explained, when I asked, that I fit the description of a man who had just robbed a bank. This explanation seemed suspect since it was approximately 8:45 AM and April 14, 2007 (the day that this incident took place) was a Saturday.
Chillingly, the background conversations on the April 13, 2007 recordings (made the night before the incident) contain statements that someone would say "I told him to put down his bag." Then someone made sounds like a gun going off "bam bam." Someone said, snidely, "[he wants us to] let him get online." This statement refers to the fact that, prior to April 23, 2007, my laptop was hacked into so much by these rapists and their co-conspirators that I was unable to get and maintain an Internet connection, particularly when I attempted to report the rapes or the computer hacking online. On April 23, 2007—by reinstalling Windows and working offline as long as I could, I recorded a video indicating the rapes and uploaded it to YouTube. The video was deleted by someone and I was not able to re-upload it until May 9, 2007.
I also have evidence in the form of paper towels on which I have blown my nose and spat out the contents of those orifices upon awaking at PGM on scores of mornings. Those towels would contain some of the drugs used to sedate me into a rapeable state as well as DNA from some of the rapists. I have locked those paper towels up in my safety deposit box at the Bank of America branch at Jackson Boulevard and Clark Street in downtown Chicago.
What, you may ask, does any of this have to do with us? Well, I humbly implore you to download these recordings and analyze the conversations taking place behind me. Understand that I recorded these songs at bedtime at PGM, underneath my covers, when no conversation was to take place. I assure you that the conversations were always about me. I have many other recordings (also secured in my safety deposit box) which clearly show this and speak on the rapes and other criminal details. Alas, given the upload constraints placed on me by MySpace I decided that the most effective use of this first set of uploads was to facilitate the prosecution of the crooked cops who attempted to kill me on the morning of April 14, 2007.
Therefore, I ask you to use your technical expertise, enhanced electronic equipment, and fresher ears, to provide a statement indicating what you think is being said behind me in these recordings. Better yet, if you can, attempt to isolate the background conversations so that it can be clearly understood what they consist of. Please submit any findings to me here.
To show that I am an artist and intend to ultimately use this site solely as such, I have uploaded as many of my lyrics as I was able today and will—whether you want me to or not—upload several recordings of some of the songs whose lyrics have been uploaded.
In addition, within the next fourteen days, I shall return to the CPD at 1718 South State Street in Chicago and provide the police with some of the physical evidence that I have identified herein and ask them to allow me to file criminal complaints for all rapes and other crimes committed against me.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Do You Believe in Ghosts?

WASHINGTON - Those things that go bump in the night? About one-third of people believe they could be ghosts. And nearly one out of four, 23 percent, say they've actually seen a ghost or felt its presence, finds a pre-Halloween poll by The Associated Press and Ipsos.

One is Misty Conrad, who says she fled her rented home in Syracuse, Ind., after her daughter began talking to an unseen girl named Nicole and neighbors said children had been murdered in the house. That was after the TV and lights began flicking on at night.

"It kind of creeped you out," Conrad, 40, of Hampton, Va., recalled this week. "I needed to get us out."

About one out of five people, 19 percent, say they accept the existence of spells or witchcraft. Nearly half, 48 percent, believe in extrasensory perception, or ESP.

The most likely candidates for ghostly visits include single people, Catholics and those who never attend religious services. By 31 percent to 18 percent, more liberals than conservatives report seeing a specter.

Those who dismissed the existence of ghosts include Morris Swadener, 66, a Navy retiree from Kingston, Wash.

He says he shot one with his rifle when he was a child.

"I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a white ghost in my closet," he said. "I discovered I'd put a hole in my brand new white shirt. My mother and father were not amused."

Three in 10 have awakened sensing a strange presence in the room. For whatever it says about matrimony, singles are more likely than married people to say so.

Fourteen percent — mostly men and lower-income people — say they have seen a UFO. Among them is Danny Eskanos, 44, an attorney in Palm Harbor, Fla., who says as a Colorado teenager he watched a bright light dart across the sky, making abrupt stops and turns.

"I knew a little about airplanes and helicopters, and it was not that," he said. "It's one of those things that sticks in your mind."

Spells and witchcraft are more readily believed by urban dwellers, minorities and lower-earning people. Those who find credibility in ESP are more likely to be better educated and white — 51 percent of college graduates compared to 37 percent with a high school diploma or less, about the same proportion by which white believers outnumber minorities.

Overall, the 48 percent who accept ESP is less than the 66 percent who gave that answer to a similar 1996 Newsweek question.

One in five say they are at least somewhat superstitious, with young men, minorities, and the less educated more likely to go out of their way to seek luck. Twenty-six percent of urban residents — twice the rate of those from rural areas — said they are superstitious, while single men were more superstitious than unmarried women, 31 percent to 17 percent.

The most admitted-to superstition, by 17 percent, was finding a four-leaf clover. Thirteen percent dread walking under a ladder or the groom seeing his bride before their wedding, while slightly smaller numbers named black cats, breaking mirrors, opening umbrellas indoors, Friday the 13th or the number 13.

Generally, women were more superstitious than men about four-leaf clovers, breaking mirrors or grooms prematurely seeing brides. Democrats were more superstitious than Republicans over opening umbrellas indoors, while liberals were more superstitious than conservatives over four-leaf clovers, grooms seeing brides and umbrellas.

Then there's Jack Van Geldern, a computer programmer from Riverside, Conn. Now 51, Van Geldern is among the 5 percent who say they have seen a monster in the closet — or in his case, a monster's face he spotted on the wall of his room as a child.

"It was so terrifying I couldn't move," he said. "Needless to say I survived the event and never saw it again."

Monday, October 22, 2007

Saturday, October 20, 2007

2nd grader suspended for drawing a stick-figure with a gun.

DENNIS TOWNSHIP, N.J. - A second-grader's drawing of a stick figure shooting a gun earned him a one-day school suspension.

Kyle Walker, 7, was suspended last week for violating Dennis Township Primary School's zero-tolerance policy on guns, the boy's mother, Shirley McDevitt, told The Press of Atlantic City.

Kyle gave the picture to another child on the school bus, and that child's parents complained about it to school officials, McDevitt said. Her son told her the drawing was of a water gun, she said.

A photocopy of the picture provided by McDevitt showed two stick figures with one pointing a crude-looking gun at the other, the newspaper said. What appeared to be the word "me" was written above the shooter, with another name scribbled above the other figure.

School officials declined to comment Friday. A message left at the superintendent's office Saturday was not returned.

Kyle drew other pictures, including a skateboarder, King Tut, a ghost, a tree and a Cyclops, the newspaper reported.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Why i'll never live in South Carolina... Actually, why I might Live there...

Miss South Carolina:

Transcript: I personally believe that the US americans are unable to do so, because uh.. some people out there in our nation are dont have maps and uhh and i beleive the education in such as south africa and the iraq, and everywhere like such as, I believe that they should....Our education over here should in the US should help the US, i mean south africa, and the iraq and uh... everywhere; such as... asian countries so we will be able to build up our future... For our children. !!

Saturday, August 25, 2007


Word on the street is Cory Arcangel and Zach Galifianakis are going to be doing stuff...

For those not in the know, Zach is the bearded amish-looking comedian in this Kanye West video...

is it worth it? I'll be in town, but 4 dollar PBRs??? I fucking hate New York.

Stumbled Across These... Enjoy...

Paper Rad presents... The Islands...

and... Beck...

and... this thing....

and this...

how you like that...that just happened.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Little Boxes...

An Olsen twin on weeds?


Thursday, August 16, 2007

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Dumbest Criminal... EVER.

Not so lucky in Kentucky, this man dubbed the Duct Tape Bandit was arrested after he tried to rob a liquor store... needless to say he got his ass handed to him with an employee's wooden club, which was wrapped in.... you guessed it.... duct tape

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Man, you crazier than a fish with titties if you think I’m gonna let you smoke that shit in my car

That's probably my favorite line from R Kelly's new set of Trapped in the Closet videos..

check 'em here...

I highly reccomend from :55 seconds through 1:05 in chapter 15... amazing... Kelly is singing like 3 different voices at once... radical.

(what mtv says):...

R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" musical soap opera resumed on Monday (August 13) with the release of the first of 10 new chapters in the ongoing series.

Available on the Independent Film Channel's Web site, the new chapter is accompanied by a recap of the first 12 chapters (containing obscenity-loaded new verses and footage of Kelly superimposed into the scenes) and a 30-second preview of the coming ones.

To ease viewers back into the story, the 4-plus-minute-long Chapter 13 features more comic (and foul-mouthed) banter than startling revelations, focusing on Sylvester and his brother-in-law Twan driving to a secret location to meet a mystery woman who has some info Sylvester is interested in; he's bringing Twan along to watch his back. Twan wants to smoke some marijuana on the way but Sylvester forbids it, saying Twan is "crazier than a fish with [human female body parts]."

Kelly pops up later in Chapter 13 as Randolph: the white-afro-sporting, pot-bellied, grumpy husband of Rosie the Nosy Neighbor. He chastises his wife for spying and says he wishes a bird would defecate on her face. She clowns him for not, er, rising to the occasion for five years — it's marital bliss at its most unvarnished!

Back in the car, Sylvester and Twan pull up to the meeting place. The episode fades out with Twan having waited in the car with no word from Sylvester for an hour.

IFC will roll out a new chapter a day for the next nine days — all leading up to the release of a DVD containing the 10 new chapters on August 21.


If you haven't seen it, you need to. I now have watched through seasons 1 and 2 (both on DVD, WATCH IT!) and am now awaiting episode 2 of season 3 on the itunes music store... highly reccomended... with no Sopranos, and no OC on television this is my new fave...

Weeds - Nancy Botwin

Friday, August 10, 2007

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Thriller+Indian People+Music video= YES, YES, YES!

goalie mon...

and in completely unrelated news I am going to be twittering more these days...

Monday, August 6, 2007

Lady. Boy. Hello. Kitty.

Hello KItty? Cute and girly item being forced on male police officers.... in Thailand... is this a comment on the legacy of Thai Lady-Boy/He-Shes???

BANGKOK, Thailand - Thai police officers who break rules will be forced to wear hot pink armbands featuring "Hello Kitty," the Japanese icon of cute, as a mark of shame, a senior officer said Monday.

Police officers caught littering, parking in a prohibited area, or arriving late — among other misdemeanors — will be forced to stay in the division office and wear the armband all day, said Police Col. Pongpat Chayaphan. The officers won't wear the armband in public.

The striking armband features Hello Kitty sitting atop two hearts.

"Simple warnings no longer work. This new twist is expected to make them feel guilt and shame and prevent them from repeating the offense, no matter how minor," said Pongpat, acting chief of the Crime Suppression Division in Bangkok.

"(Hello) Kitty is a cute icon for young girls. It's not something macho police officers want covering their biceps," Pongpat said.

He said police caught breaking the law will be subject the same fines and penalties as any other members of the public.

"We want to make sure that we do not condone small offenses," Pongpat said, adding that the CSD believed that getting tough on petty misdemeanors would lead to fewer cases of more serious offenses including abuse of power and mistreatment of the public by police officers.

Hello Kitty, invented by Sanrio Co. in 1974, has been popular for years with children and young women. The celebrity cat adorns everything from diamond-studded jewelry, Fender guitars and digital cameras to lunch boxes, T-shirts and stationery.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Monday, July 16, 2007


Sorry I haven't been keeping everything here up to date... But, I'm back and figured you might be interested in this news story...

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy, a newspaper reported Monday.

"Suddenly he stopped the bus," the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. "He opened the door and shouted at me 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus.'"

The woman, pictured in Bild wearing her snug-fitting summer clothes with the plunging neckline, said she moved to another seat but was humiliated by the bus driver.

A spokesman for the bus company defended the driver.

"The bus driver is allowed to do that and he did the right thing," the spokesman said. "A bus driver cannot be distracted because it's a danger to the safety of all the passengers."

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Water Balloons, High Speed Film...

I sat watching water balloons popping in slow motion this morning... now you can watch them, whatever the time might be...

This one I got in my email:

Then I googled for a while checking out more water balloon antics:

Here's one with wild, totally awesome music! Where's the rave???:

This one's quieter, but still water balloon-tacular!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Paris Free!

In continuation of the alien theme...

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysians in a northern village were alarmed by rumors that space aliens had been laid to rest in their neighborhood cemetery, but authorities learned the graves had merely been filled with banana tree trunks for a superstitious ritual, police said Tuesday.

Residents feared a local witch doctor had instructed grave diggers to bury extraterrestrials in the rural district of Pasir Mas on Sunday, causing police to detain the man for investigation, said district police chief Haliludin Rahim.

The man was freed after he explained that banana tree trunks, not aliens, had been buried in a ceremony for "medicinal purposes," Haliludin told The Associated Press.

The New Straits Times newspaper said the rumor started because of a misunderstanding after some of the grave diggers claimed to other people that they had been told they were burying aliens.

Witch doctors and spiritual healers are common in rural parts of Malaysia where superstitious beliefs have long been entrenched.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Heaven's Gate

If you forgot about it already...

Movie Pitch...

Farewell note...

No Nukes for Iran...

We're all fucked.

What the Hell. Just watch this thing...

The theme for today is the Nazis.

Watch this Iranian scholar discuss the details you may not have noticed while watching Tom and Jerry... (he doesn't even know what compay made T&J, but wants you to believe this crap...)

Kitler = Hitler Cat.

"Cats that look like Hitler" is one of the top 20 Yahoo! searches today. So, of course I had to see what all the fuss was about on, CATSTHATLOOKLIKEHITLER.COM, Above are a couple of the Kitlers as they call them on the web. This is not American, but verges still, on the extremely stupid.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Watch this, then that...

Conspiracy Theory Bullshit? Or is this somehow justified?

Waco Tx... Part 2?

Jesus. This is some weird stuff just coming more into the national news... The first video is from January...

This one's from late January or February....

This "press conference" is from 2 days ago...

You playing with me; 4Real?

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son "4real," saying numerals are not allowed.

Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival.

"For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name," Pat Wheaton told TV One on Wednesday. "With this name, everyone knows what it means."

But when the parents filed the name with New Zealand's Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, they were told names beginning with a number were against the rules.

The government office has opened negotiations with the parents about the name under a policy that says all unusual names must be given case-by-case consideration.

"The name has not at this stage been rejected," Registrar-General Brian Clarke said in a statement Thursday. "We are currently in discussions with the parents ... to clarify the situation."

Clarke said the rules are designed to prevent names that are "likely to cause offense to a reasonable person." Satan and Adolf Hitler were proposed names that have been declined, he said.

If no compromise has been reached by July 9, the baby will be registered as "real," officials say.

New Zealand law requires all children born in the South Pacific nation to be registered with the Births, Deaths and Marriages registry within two months of birth.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Why We Hate Online Degrees...

According to Yahoo! what is good about online degrees?


Why We Hate Online Degrees???:

1.Some Employers don't pay a damn penny towards furthering your education...

2. Higher degrees don't neccessarily mean a higher pay scale...

3. Many top REAL schools or universities are NOT online....

God Bless America...

Texas crowd kills man after car hits kid

AUSTIN, Texas - A crowd attacked and killed a passenger in a vehicle that had struck and injured a child, police said Wednesday.

Police believe 2,000 to 3,000 people were in the area for a Juneteenth celebration when the attack occurred Tuesday night. The man who was killed had been trying to stop the group from attacking the vehicle's driver when the crowd turned on him, authorities said.

The Austin Police Department identified the victim as David Rivas Morales, 40. The child was taken to a hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

Police spokeswoman Toni Chovonetz said she had no further information, including how many people were involved.

The driver was able to get away from the crowd and is cooperating with investigators, police said.

Juneteenth marks the day Gen. Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston in 1865 to share news of the Emancipation Proclamation, which freed slaves two years earlier on Jan. 1, 1863.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

To my Parents... I'm sorry for my behavior...

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - A man who police say tried to steal a dance with a stripper was arrested. The accused, 20, was at the Lumberyard II on Saturday night and received eight lap dances, which cost $25 each, court records show.

He refused to pay and police were called.

The gentlemen was charged with fifth-degree theft and public intoxication.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie: Coke Snorting Hos?

The crazed world of cokehead Lindsay Lohan is blown wide open by the burly bodyguard who quit looking after her... because it was too DANGEROUS.
Lee Weaver has told of his two years of hell with the stroppy starlet as the News of the World reveals yet more worrying pictures of Lindsay — this time wasted in her squalid bedroom.

Weaver, 48, tells how the 20-year-old Mean Girls star:

ATTACKED a gun-wielding cocaine dealer for ripping her off.
SNORTED line after line with Simple Life star Nicole Richie in a TEN-HOUR binge.
SLASHED her wrists with knives, sobbing that she "didn't belong on this planet".
ENJOYED frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties — and even made a play for chart star Mariah Carey.

"I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood — but never anyone as out of control as Lindsay is," says Lee, 48.

"She had a total death wish and took more drugs and drank more than anyone I've met.

"I lost count of the times I thought she was overdosing and had to carry her out of parties. Every morning I'd breathe a sigh of relief she was still alive."

Lee spoke out after seeing our pictures of drunken Lindsay last week, pretending to cut a pal's throat with a kitchen knife.

But any weapon — even a gun — doesn't faze her if she's gagging for cocaine. "In April she asked me to take her to her dealer in Beverly Hills. I knew if I refused she'd go alone — so I took her.

"He was waiting for her in some bushes. Suddenly she started screaming and punching him for selling her short.

"He pulled a gun. I got out and he threatened to shoot me unless I got her to back off — but she kept hitting him. Luckily he got distracted and I punched him down.

"I dragged Lindsay into the car and drove off but she was screaming at me to go back. It was like Pulp Fiction. I knew then she was just too dangerous to be around."

Lee reveals how he often drove Lindsay to join her pal Nicole Richie, 24, for cocaine binges. "Nobody was as wild as Lindsay," he says. "But Nicole came close. Sometimes Paris Hilton would be there but the most I saw her do was drink and strip.

"One night Lindsay and Nicole were making trip after trip to the bathroom — she wouldn't snort in front of me because she knew I'd get mad.

"But the more wasted they got the less she cared. In the end they carried in a mirror from the bedroom, laid it on the coffee table and emptied a mountain of coke onto it. They went at the stuff with straws, hoovering it all up then piling more on.

"I tried to tell Lindsay to stop but she just told me it was cool. After ten hours I'd had enough and threatened to throw the mirror out of the window. I had to carry her out to the car."

But that was no surprise — Lee had been carrying her home since first night he began working for her.

His first job was to take her to a party in Beverly Hills. "She'd been snorting all night," he recalls. "As soon as they walked into the party she was snorting more.

"She got on the coffee table and danced, flinging her dress above her head, her eyes rolling about all over the place.

"I told the guy providing the drugs to stop and he just said, ‘No way, Lindsay will go berserk'. Then she started screaming at people and swinging her fists around at anyone near her.

"At the start of the night she seemed such a fun-loving, angelic girl but under the influence of drugs she was psychotic. It was 10.30am the next day by the time I carried her to bed."

And when she wasn't snorting coke, she was snogging GIRLS.

"She used boys for drugs and girls for thrills," says Lee. "I lost count of the women she took back to her hotel room from clubs.

"I even saw her try to grope Mariah Carey's bottom and boobs one night as they danced. One time I went to look for her in a club bathroom and found her in the corner French-kissing a girl." When she wasn't snogging them she was just as likely to attack them.

One night, paranoid Lindsay went for blonde actress Jessica Simpson in a club. Lee says: "Jessica was sat with her pals and Lindsay became convinced she was shooting her dirty looks.

"She jumped over the table and dived at Jessica pulling her hair out. I had to pull her off her."

As Lindsay spiralled more and more out of control she started to self-harm, cutting her wrists with a knife.

"One night I looked at her hands and wrists and noticed they had bright red wounds all over them," says Lee.

"She tried to tell me she had fallen but when I looked her in the eyes and demanded to know the truth she just broke down.

"She told me, ‘I don't belong on this planet any more'. She said she cut herself because she did not think life was worth living.

"The pictures in your paper of her fooling with knives show how disturbing her behaviour is." So do today's pictures taken of her partying in her messy booze-littered room, half-dressed,looking painfully thin and spaced out.

They emerge just weeks after Lindsay went into rehab for the second time in six months after crashing her Mercedes into a tree.

Lee — who earned £1,500 a week as her bodyguard — is now writing his memoirs about the years he spent minding stars, including Kim Basinger, Brad Pitt, Eddie Murphy, Pamela Anderson, Jamie Foxx and Hollywood's most infamous drug addict Robert Downey Jnr.

But the minder, who also tells of his adventures on his website, says Lindsay was the biggest handful of all of them.

"I'd never even heard of her when I was asked to do the job. She was only 18 but guarding her was a nightmare and the stress it put me under was unbearable.

"I would pray every night she wouldn't kill herself on my watch.

"I desperately hope she stops doing drugs but I fear that will only happen when either she kills someone else with her reckless ways — or kills herself."


Wario Ware Smooth Moves

Picked this game up the other day. One of the most original, funniest, best stylisticly done video games I've seen in a long time...


Did you know out of all 50 states Hawaii is the largest consumer of Spam? They consume more than 6 cans per man woman and child per year. They have different varieties like Spam Garlic, Spam Bacon, Spam Lite, Spam Turkey, Spam with Cheese and even Spam with Tabasco. At 7-11's they sell a seaweed/rice wrap that features... you guessed it spam. You can get it at McDonalds and Burger King even. I think we need to take a closer look at the meat-creation known as Spam. America, Spam deserves a second chance.

Sunday, June 10, 2007


Britain's Got Talent, which has not only the dude from America's Got Talent, but also the man everyone loves to hate, Simon Cowell. Watch this cell phone stock manager bring down the house.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Miranda July, The Blow, Alcoholic Powder For Little Kids...

So this morning I stumbled upon an interview in the new issue of Believer Magazine (which is a killer mag, BTW, if you haven't checked it out, do, it's like Cabinent Mag without the Boougy themes met McSweeny's and had some fucked up alien-hybrid-baby) with Khaela Maricich, of The Blow, being interviewed by Miranda July (You dudes are so hip that she gets no summing-up explanation from me whatsoever).

The Blow is a duo out of Portland that I stumbled upon last Summer. And they just happened to have ended up quickly rising to the top of my iTunes top played list (alongside Sir Mix Alot, The Postal Service, Girltalk and Christina Aguilera; but THAT is another story entirely...). I could leave it at that, but if you want to hear their music check the myspace.

So the interview is on the web ('cause I know you cheapskates arent rushing out to buy the damn magazine, though, you should... it's total rage...), you can peep that little gem, HERE.

Oh and here's an article my brain needs more time to digest on some college kids making flavored alcohol powder for minors (Just Add Water!!!).


AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Dutch students have developed powdered alcohol which they say can be sold legally to minors.

The latest innovation in inebriation, called Booz2Go, is available in 20-gramme packets that cost 1-1.5 euros ($1.35-$2).

Top it up with water and you have a bubbly, lime-colored and -flavored drink with just 3 percent alcohol content.

"We are aiming for the youth market. They are really more into it because you can compare it with Bacardi-mixed drinks," 20-year-old Harm van Elderen told Reuters.

Van Elderen and four classmates at Helicon Vocational Institute, about an hour's drive from Amsterdam, came up with the idea as part of their final-year project.

"Because the alcohol is not in liquid form, we can sell it to people below 16," said project member Martyn van Nierop.

The legal age for drinking alcohol and smoking is 16 in the Netherlands.

In Germany, alcopops -- sweet drinks containing alcohol and in powder form -- caused quite a stir when launched on to the market. Alcohol powder, classified as a flavoring, was sold in the United States three years ago.

The students said companies interested in making the product commercially could avoid taxes because the alcohol was in powder form. A number of companies are interested, they said.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Hogzilla the Monster Pig

So, I know this is kind of late, but there was a monster pig, and the story is just too nuts to try and sum up in a couple sentences (*Or I am too busy watching OC Season 4 on DVD right now?*). So check it out: Monster Pig Dot Com

Friday, June 1, 2007

Julien Doré - Hit me baby one more time

Yo, this is from the French version of American Idol. It sounds more like when I do drunken karaoke than a potential international singing superstar.

...And being French he can roll his r's like a motherfucker...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


I got a Nintendo Wii...

...Only have the Wii Sports and the Wii play, but once school lets out I'll get the Paper Mario or Mario Party... Sweet.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Burger Time.

"We're closed now!!!"

This Just In...

Mega-Mac=Double Big Mac. Awesome McDonald's, Japanese Food.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Flea Market Montgomery, It's JUST Like a Mini Mall!

For those of you who haven't heard and seen the amazing Ad's put out by Sammy Stevens, AKA Flea Market Montgomery (of Montgomery Alabama:

Good Lord, That's Enough Dope Rap For Like A Week... WORD!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Wow, if only I could be so lucky.

He poops and pees on women, and now he pays tribute to Virginia Tech, God Bless R Kelly.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Friday, March 30, 2007

...And some more fast food...

Willard Scott as "Donald McDonald:

Free Cabbage Patch Kid Happy Meals:

...And finally "Pepsi-Man," the best thing to come out of Japan since sushi:

Grill Skillz...

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but here are a couple fast food training videos for your viewing pleasure:

...and a commercial thrown in for good measure:

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"Rat Taco", 2/24/07-2/27/07, RIP

I am nothing now! My page has dropped off the radar, no longer being seen as the number one hit for rat taco... I'm not even in the top 50 rat taco web pages...



Newspaper says it fell for fake Gucci ad

ZURICH, Switzerland - Some people will do anything to appear in the papers. But few have the audacity of a man in Switzerland, who conned one of the country's biggest media companies into publishing a two-page ad he created of himself posing semi-naked beside a bottle of Gucci perfume.

The man, who claimed to represent the Italian fashion giant, called up the Swiss weekly SonntagsZeitung last week to book the expensive color spread in Sunday's edition, a spokesman for the paper said.

Christoph Zimmer told The Associated Press on Tuesday that the man asked for the 60,000-Swiss-franc (about $50,000) bill to be sent to Gucci.

"We've spoken to Gucci and apologized for the mistake," Zimmer said. "We're going to try and get the money back from this guy, but we don't rate our chances."

The Milan, Italy-based Gucci could not be reached for comment.

Zimmer said the paper fell for the scam because the call arrived too late for the advertising department to check whether it was genuine.

It wasn't the first time that the mysterious model — a dark, handsome man appearing to be in his late 20s — tried to sneak his way into the limelight.

According to the Zurich-based daily Blick, the man attempted to book concert venues by passing himself off as Puerto Rican singer Chayanne. The paper said it narrowly avoided also being conned, but was tipped of the hoax by record company Sony BMG, which represents Chayanne.

The man is under investigation for alleged fraud, said Meinrad Stoecklin, a spokesman for police in the canton (state) of Basel.

Monday, February 26, 2007


Via ABC News
Feb. 26, 2007 — Back home in Tennessee, safely ensconced in his suburban Nashville home, Vice President Al Gore is no doubt basking in the Oscar awarded to "An Inconvenient Truth," the documentary he inspired and in which he starred. But a local free-market think tank is trying to make that very home emblematic of what it deems Gore's environmental hypocrisy.

Armed with Gore's utility bills for the last two years, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research charged Monday that the gas and electric bills for the former vice president's 20-room home and pool house devoured nearly 221,000 kilowatt-hours in 2006, more than 20 times the national average of 10,656 kilowatt-hours.

"If this were any other person with $30,000-a-year in utility bills, I wouldn't care," says the Center's 27-year-old president, Drew Johnson. "But he tells other people how to live and he's not following his own rules."

Liar, Liar, Liar...

Via The

Jessica Simpson, Pizza Hut Spokesperson, Is Allergic To Pizza

You know... it's not that we require that every celebrity constantly use the product they're shilling for, but we'd like to think that the spokesperson is able to eat the food without getting sick. Jessica Simpson, spokesperson for Pizza Hut and star of their commercials, told Elle magazine:

There was that internal bleeding discovered last year around the time she was filming Employee of the Month; doctors found the presence of the little bugger thought to cause ulcers. Recently, Simpson tells me, after she was still feeling not quite right, an allergist delivered news that would chill the heart of anyone reared on Texan cuisine: She's allergic to cheese. And wheat. Oh, and tomatoes...
Cheese and tomatoes and wheat? Yes, Jessica Simpson has ulcers, and pizza gives her internal bleeding. —MEGHANN MARCO

Old News...

Yet still a good watch... Watch the reaction of the dude at the end; the reaction of Michael Myers; the entire thing was (and is)comic genius.

For those of you who missed it...

Prince kicked ass at the Super Bowl, and I still have yet to figure out that lightning trick they pulled off...

...And no it does not look like a weird shadow of an even weirder penis while he plays his weird guitar.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Rat Taco Hut II: The sequel

This KFC/Taco Bell/Rat Haven delivers: call (212) 929-3097

Thank You To The Academy...

There's some awards show on TV tonight (The Academy Awards or something like that...); But I wanted to thank the fine folks at google for making me number one. That's right, when searching for "rat taco," my blog is the number one hit. So remember, if you're looking for your rat taco news source, you've found it... right here, at Growing up after the X.

(P.S. The infamous Rat Taco Hut video now sits at a whopping 130,000 views)

The Blow...

The Blow is a band from Portland. They're the shit and they'll be in New England the next couple weeks. So Check it:

Oh word, and this is what they do:

And what they also do:

Word. So Check it. See you there. So you can see this:

But without the shitty camera work.

72 Ounce Challenge at the Big Texan...

It's like The Great Outdoors, only it's real.

Here's a woman with an annoying whiny voice from overseas trying to defeat the 72 ounces of meat...

And another valliant attempt:

Check out the Big Texan in Amarillo Texas, @

Regular Studio Practice...

I am trying to get into the practice of regularly scheduling my art production. That's what Ellen Driscoll suggested might improve the way I make art. This blog is one component of that. Incase you were wondering...

Now here's a clip from Saved By The Bell:

I'm so excited!

Taco Bell

Despite the Ecolli scare from a couple months ago. And the KFC Rat Taco Bell in downtown Manhattan (BTW that video is up past 100,000 hits, and WILL hit a million.) I am going to eat some Taco Bell then hit my studio for some art making.

I ain't afraid of no stinking rats...

Steve Urkel...

When I was in the third grade and MC Hammer was still cool, Steve Urkel was the funniest dip-shit on television:

Saturday, February 24, 2007


I'm checking out for the night. So I'll leave you all with this out of this world clip from ALF...

The Fratellis...

They're in an Apple commercial. They're from Glasgow. They're hip.

The Fratellis is also the name of the bad guys in the 80's kids movie "The Goonies."

Having a blog is high mainenance, bitch.

Via the Associated Press
Feb. 22, 2007 04:47 PM

SEATTLE - A newly opened store catering to very pampered dogs, especially female dogs, is getting more than questioning looks for its name, High Maintenance Bitch.

The third word in the sign is widely visible at North 45th Street and Wallingford Avenue North, one of the main intersections in the Wallingford neighborhood business west of Interstate 5 and north of the Lake Washington Ship Canal.

"I am probably the most progressive liberal person in the world and I am personally offended by the sign," said Janet Stillman, executive director of the Wallingford Neighborhood Office. "It's so blatant and so in your face."

The sign is the issue more than products such as Gel-ous Bitch bath gel and Street Walker paw cleanser, said Kara Ceriello, co-president of the Wallingford Chamber of Commerce.

Ceriello said she supports the store but has heard complaints from about a dozen people.

"It is going to be a hot issue again when we get to our Wallingford Kiddie Parade and Street Fair," she said.

Stillman said the sign could wreck family photographs of the parade, scheduled for July 7.

"Walk by there with your 5-year-old and try to explain why that sign is there. Half of the sign is made up of the word 'bitch.'"

Making no apologies, co-founder Lori Pacchiano, 36, said she planned to meet with the chamber Thursday. Meanwhile, she and her brother, Ryan Pacchiano, 27, hope to made the business name as commonplace in shopping areas as Victoria's Secret.

Over the next three years they hope to open 10 stores at a cost of about $200,000 each.

"Our company is probably the most high-end pet brand in the world," Pacchiano said. "We want to be known for growing from Seattle."

In the process, she said, one of her goals is to reclaim the word in its original meaning, a female dog, as opposed to a derogatory term for a woman.

"Our store is a dog store, but the concept and philosophy is directed specifically toward women," she said.

Britney "Crazy Lady" Spears

Britney uses the umbrella as a sword.

MTV Generation?

Could the official name of the X/Y between generation really be: The MTV Generation

MTV News. You hear it........ First.

And in closing how the Hell is Kurt Loder not only living, but still doing MTV News? Is he like 60 but still hip now? Whatever.......

Syracuse @ Providence.

Syracuse and Providence College are both fighting for one of the final couple NCAA Tournament bids from the Big East. My family has driven in from upstate NY to go to the game with me. Hopefuly there will be a big fight like that one at the hockey game the other night. Cuse started out 7 and 0 this year, but since then has played unimpressive, losing some dumb games. Here's a dunk highlight reel from that semi-impressive start:

Friday, February 23, 2007

Hockey Fights

I also just found some footage of the bad-ass hockey fight from last night...


New youtube video, rats close resturant in the Village, Manhattan, NYC...

There are only 400 views on this, I'm sure it will blow up to past a million though. Gross!!!

Pogger Blogger.

The POG Blog is up and running. Speaking of running Obama is running for the White House in '08... that is unless FOX News knocks him down and kicks him anymore.

He's a smoker! And I don't care. Could this clip be the smoking gun waiting to blast the 9/11 coverup to shreds?

Doubtful, but it makes for an interesting watch...

That's just stupid. And so is anyone who would pay a million dollars for Britney Spears' Hair.

Pog. Blog. Dog.

I think I might start a POG Blog. That'd be tight. It's hard to believe that some people still don't know or remember what a POG is.

Since I could talk about POGs for hours, I won't get into it on this blog but, stay tuned, soon there will be a POG Blog... Dawg...

Artist Doug Fishbone is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Speaking of Bananas...

I used to play the Hell out of some Donkey Kong back in the day. All the way from the original back in '85, all the way through to the bad ass DK 64 in the '99...

The other week I picked up Diddy Kong Racing for the Nintendo DS.

No where near as good as the DS version of Mario Kart. With it, you can race people from around the world on the Internet. This past weekend I watched the end of the Daytona 500. After having no crashes for like the first 3/4ths of the race all Hell broke loose and people started spinning out right and left.

I feel like an idiot saying it. But, that was kinda cool.


The local theater that I saw The Wizard was disgusting. There was crap all over the floor. Well, it was probably candy and popcorn. But it smelled like crap.

My dream theater would probably be nothing like this Dream Theater. But I sure as Hell know it wouldn't have a sticky floor. It'd have a big ass screen. Bumping sound system. And be clean.

Growing up there was this guy that lived down the street from my family. We called him Mr.Clean. He hosed his driveway off daily. If eveyone else had drives covered in snow and ice, his would be bare down to the blacktop.

Britney went bare to the top as well. In case you live under a rock, last weekend she shaved her head. It is my hypothesis she went nutso after losing a baby last week. About 3 weeks ago the tabloids were wondering if she was preggers. My theory, she lost the baby and went AWOL. But I'm not a scientist.

But Bill Nye is. My father went to Cornell with him. I saw the yearbook pictures. Believe it or not Bill Nye looked kind of nerdy back then.

When I was younger I used to always confuse Goofy and Pluto. I don't know why. Maybe I was stupid back then...

I used to watch Kids Incorporated on the Disney channel before school. It starred Stacey, AKA Stacey "Fergie" Ferguson.

Why am I telling you all of this. This shit is bananas.

B, A, N, A, N, A, S.


I had a cabbage patch kids doll. Its name was Milton. I had another too, its name was Tina.

I didn't have a Coleco Vision. My neighbor did, but as soon as he got his Nintendo we never played it.

Super Mario Bros. 3 was the bomb. John Clarkson, the kid who lived across the street from me got it before I did. He got it for "first communion."

The movie "The Wizard" was, for the most part an advertisment for the video game Super Mario Bros. 3.

Somehow these kids, who were seeing Super Mario 3 for the first time, knew all about the whistle warp and other suprises (Get the star! The star!)