Saturday, February 28, 2009

SATURDAY Morning Cartoons: Ghostbusters (1986)



Stupid...


FORT PIERCE — Eric T. Ambrose claimed he served in the military in Iraq, so he could swipe all the M&Ms he wanted.

Police apparently disagreed and arrested him about 3:50 a.m. Monday after pulling packages of the candy known for melting in your mouth, not in your hands, from his pockets at the Pilot truck stop in the 7100 block of Okeechobee Road, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

It wasn’t the first time Ambrose, 31, had been arrested this month — on Saturday he created a “spectacle” at a Super 8 Motel and was arrested and charged with disorderly intoxication and causing a public disturbance, police said.

In the most recent case, in addition to the three packs of peanut M&Ms, Ambrose reportedly absconded with two black T-shirts, a 20-ounce Bud Light and single packages each of Circus Peanuts candy, chewing tobacco, Wonka Nerds candy, Planters cashews, Reese’s Pieces and Sour Patch candy. Also allegedly taken were two each of large Snickers candy bars and beef jerky packages.

An officer approached Ambrose at the cashier counter, and initially he denied taking anything.

“This officer could clearly see the pocket on the right side of the defendant’s pants were bulging and M&Ms packages could be seen,” the affidavit states. “This officer started removing the candy from his pocket and (another officer) started removing more candy and a T-shirt from his left pockets.”

Ambrose said he bought everything but had no receipt. A clerk and a supervisor said they’d rung up no purchases for Ambrose, who appeared to have been drinking. Ambrose, listed as homeless in Fort Pierce, faces a retail theft charge.

“While in the patrol vehicle the defendant was screaming out the window that he had served in the military over in Iraq so he could steal all the M&M’s he wanted,” the affidavit states.

Ambrose’s claim of military service could not be immediately verified. He was held Wednesday in the St. Lucie County jail on $5,000 bail, a jail official said.

In the earlier case, Ambrose had “thrown himself onto the ground and was curled up to a black handbag,” at the motel when officers arrived, according to a police report.

Officers noticed a strong odor of alcohol coming from Ambrose. He said “he had nowhere to go and he can’t go back to his home state because they have methamphetamine.” Ambrose then stated that Fort Pierce “only had crack,” which keeps him high for a little while and was “safer for him.”

Officers placed him under arrest for disorderly intoxication after a fifth warning. He was released Sunday on $250 bail. Ambrose also was arrested in April on charges including disorderly intoxication, simple assault and panhandling, a jail official said.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

FMYLIFE.COM

Some highlights...

"Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML"

"Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML"

"Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML"

"Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML"

"Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML"

"Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML"

"Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML"

"Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister... Like... you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML"

Thursday, February 19, 2009

GIANT RAT caught in China


The rat, which weighed six pounds and had a 12-inch tail, was caught at the weekend in a residential area of Fuzhou, a city of six million people on China's south coast.
The ratcatcher, who was only named as Mr Xian, said he swooped for the rodent after seeing a big crowd of people surrounding it on the street.
He told local Chinese newspapers that he thought the rat might be a valuable specimen, or a rare species, and had to muster up his courage before grabbing its tail and picking it up by the scruff of its neck.
"I did it, I caught a rat the size of a cat!" he shouted out afterwards, according to the reports. Mr Xian is believed to still be in possession of the animal, after stuffing into a bag and departing the scene.
The local forestry unit in the city identified the nightmarish creature as a bamboo rat from initial photographs, but said that it would need to examine the rat more closely before making a final identification.
Chinese bamboo rats rarely grow beyond ten inches and are found throughout southern China, northern Burma and Vietnam.
However, the Sumatra bamboo rat, usually found in the south-western Chinese province of Yunnan and in the Malay Peninsula can grow up to 30 inches long, including tail, and can weigh up to eight pounds.
A "Giant Rat of Sumatra" is mentioned in the Sherlock Holmes tale: The Adventure of a Sussex Vampire.
All bamboo rats are slow-moving and usually spend their time in underground burrows, feeding on bamboo. Chinese bamboo rats are often sold for meat in Chinese markets. The largest rats in the world are thought to be African giant pouched rats, which can grow up to 36 inches in length.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

stupid...

BEIJING, China (CNN) -- A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.


The businessman and his spurned mistress met in Qingdao, pictured here last August, local media report.

But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.

The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.

Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on December 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.

The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.

At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name -- Fan -- was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.

The women knew of one another, but none elected to break up with the man and give up their rent-free apartment and a 5,000 yuan ($730) monthly allowance, the reports said.

When the economy soured, the businessman apparently decided to let go of all but one mistress.

He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.

The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.

It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.

Fan shut down his company after the crash and paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan ($84,744) as compensation for her death.

The four other women left him, as did his wife when she learned of the affairs.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Half Time...



stupid...

BELLEVUE, Wash. – A man in Washington state made sure a pair of burglars didn't get away with his three flat-screen televisions — he moved their getaway car.

Patrick Rosario was in the basement of his Bellevue home on Tuesday when he heard the burglars upstairs. The Seattle Times says the 32-year-old Rosario, who had been laid off from his job as a Washington Mutual manager, called 911 while he sneaked out of the house. He saw a white van sitting in front of his house with the motor running and the keys in the ignition, and he got in and drove it to a friend's house. Police say the burglars left the televisions, a laptop computer and a jewelry box by the door and took off on foot. The sheriff's office said no arrests had been made.

Because man can't live on cartoons alone...

Saturday Morning Cartoons: TEEN WOLF (1986-1987)





Inspired by the "drinkability" ads currently being run by Budweiser, I will rate the Saturday morning cartoons on "watchability"; with a maximum rating of 5 TV's...
TEEN WOLF comes in as a solid, if somewhat forgotten cartoon; 3.5 TV's.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

People who know me...

...know I have a soft spot for ridiculous British rapping... so Blackout Crew has blown me away with their "music"... the entire package, from the crummy track suits, to the pounding techno, is phenomenal... so here is Blackout Crew... PUT A DONK ON IT:


P.S. Starting this Saturday I will be screening Saturday morning cartoons here on After The X... any requests???

Monday, February 9, 2009

Think Outside The Bun.



NORMAL, Ill. – Wedding bells meant Taco Bell for Paul and Caragh Brooks.
Customers inside the fast-food restaurant continued to order tacos and burritos as the couple sat Friday in an orange booth at Taco Bell and exchanged vows.
"It's appropriate," groom Paul Brooks said. "It's an offbeat relationship."
Employees displayed hot sauce packets labeled with the words "Will you marry me?" They decorated the restaurant with streamers and balloons.
The bride wore a $15 hot pink dress and the entire wedding cost about $200. Several dozen guests looked on as the couple's friend, Ryan Green of Normal, administered the vows while wearing a T-shirt. He was ordained online.
"This is the way to go — there's no stress," said the groom's mother, Kathy Brooks.
Caragh Brooks, 21, of Australia, met Paul Brooks, 30, on an Internet dating Web site. They already had the same last name.
The couple wrote back and forth and talked on the phone for nine months before Caragh Brooks moved to the United States.
"We have the same brain, just in two bodies," Paul Brooks said. "We think alike in virtually every manner. We have the same interests, viewpoints."
He proposed on New Year's Eve and, because they like to spend time at the local Taco Bell, they decided to wed there.
"I would never have expected in my life in working here there would be a wedding," restaurant manager Carl Hamlow said.

Surprisingly they look like a normal, and cute couple...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

First Poster Boy, now this...

BOSTON (Reuters) – An artist who created an iconic red, white and blue portrait of President Barack Obama that appeared on thousands of posters and T-shirts was arrested in Boston on graffiti charges, police said on Saturday.
Shepard Fairey, a Los Angeles artist whose "Hope" image of Obama hangs in the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, was arrested on Friday night while traveling to the Institute of Contemporary Art to kickoff his first solo exhibition.
Police accuse Fairey of damaging property with graffiti in several locations and issued warrants for his arrest on January 24, Boston police spokesman James Kenneally said.
An arraignment is scheduled on Monday. If convicted on all charges, he faces up to three years in jail, Kenneally said.
Fairey made headlines this week when The Associated Press claimed his Obama portrait infringed on its copyright to a photograph used for the artwork and that it should be compensated for its use.
Fairey has acknowledged that his image was based on an April 2006 Associated Press photograph of Obama.
Fairey was to appear as a guest disc jockey at a museum event on Friday to launch the 20-year retrospective of his artwork. He spent the past two weeks in Boston installing the exhibit, giving public talks and creating outdoor art including a banner on the side of City Hall, according to a museum statement.
The museum said Fairey was arrested "in connection with his efforts posting his art in various areas around the city."
"We believe Shepard Fairey has made an important contribution in the history of art and to popular thinking about art and its role in society," the statement said.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

I'd beat the piss out of this dude if I was the juror...

SAN DIEGO -- A mistrial was declared Monday when a home-invasion robbery suspect smeared human feces on his attorney's face then threw more at the jury.
Weusi McGowan, 37, was upset because San Diego Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Fraser refused to remove Deputy Alternate Public Defender Jeffrey Martin from the case, prosecutor Christopher Lawson said.
At the mid-morning break, McGowan produced a plastic baggie filled with fecal matter and spread it on Martin's hair and face, then flung the excrement toward the jury box, hitting the briefcase of juror No. 9 but missing the juror himself.

"That juror didn't even see it coming," Lawson said.
The prosecutor said the defendant was compliant after the outburst and was taken into custody without further incident.
After lunch, Fraser dismissed the jury, telling them McGowan would have to get a new lawyer and that his trial would be delayed.
The judge scheduled a status conference for Feb. 9 and raised the defendant's bail from $250,000 to $1 million, finding he is a danger to the community.
Lawson said McGowan originally became upset last week when he claimed one of the jurors saw him in shackles as he entered the courtroom. Fraser dismissed all jurors who saw the defendant in shackles, the prosecutor said.
"The judge had been very fair," Lawson said. "All jurors who saw it were dismissed."
Fraser had also denied McGowan's attempt to represent himself, saying the request was untimely, Lawson said.
The prosecutor said the defendant had previously wiped human feces on himself and was examined by doctors to ensure he was mentally competent to stand trial.
McGowan is charged with kidnapping for robbery, assault with a deadly weapon and other counts and could face assault charges in connection with the attack on his attorney and jury, Lawson said.
The prosecutor said the defendant hit a man with a rock in a sock as the victim came out of his home to investigate a commotion on Oct. 17, 2007.
McGowan allegedly ransacked the man's apartment then stole some of the victim's belongings and took off in the victim's car.
He was arrested 20 minutes later, Lawson said.

This is from Monica...


...no joke.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Quint's Crazy Adventure.....

Yesterday the good folks at Red Bull put on the New York City "Snow Scrappers" event. Being the respectable media outlet we are here at AFTER THE X, we had to go check it out and report back to you...

... the ramp was sick... from the JMZ train on the Williamsburg bridge you could see the slope leading up to the hit... it was like 120 feet tall...

It was like impossible to catch a shot of the riders going down. They were riding way fast. And the VIP media shit was wicked close...



Retahded Close to the ramp...



Wicked Close To All The Sick Pros...


So then I see this VIP line on a red carpet, leading up to a sick yacht. So I decide I'm going to get on that shit... I met these 2 dudes that work for a skate shop in Brooklyn... they know a dude that knows a guy that works for Burton. We get to the front of this line after like 15 minutes... then for some reason they let me on without even looking for a VIP pass or anything.

The boat had windows looking out to the ramp, but they were mad cloudy... cause it was hot up in that mug with all the people keeping nice and warm with free Dos Equis and Red Bull and vodka and shit...

... plus there were plasmas to watch the action on...

Wait till puberty hits....

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

If I Could Rule The World...



...Is the title of my next installation... (subtitle: The Beginning Of My Ascension to the Center of the Universe Part 3)

Lady is Stupid.... 772 Times In A Row...

SEOUL (AFP) – A dogged South Korean grandmother has failed her driving test 771 times, police said Thursday, but a local newspaper reported she will keep trying. The 68-year-old, identified only by her last name Cha, has taken the test almost every working day since 2005 in the southwestern city of Jeonju. She failed again Monday for the 771st time. "It was a record-breaking number here," Choi Yong-Cheol, a police sergeant supervising the test in the city's Deokjingu district, told AFP. "I wonder if she will try it again for a 772nd time."

The Korea Times said Cha will in fact be back for another attempt. Choi said that Cha cannot pass the preliminary written section of the test, averaging scores of 30-50 whereas the pass mark is 60 out of 100. Local media said that Cha sells food and household items door to door at apartment complexes, carrying the items in a handcart, but wants to get a car for her business.
Police estimate she has spent almost five million won (3,600 dollars) to take the written test, with each test costing 6,000 won in addition to other expenses. "I feel sorry every time I see Cha fail. When she passes, I'll make a commemorative tablet myself and give it to her," one officer was quoted as saying.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Myspace = 90,000 (+) Sex Offenders...

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The online networking site MySpace has identified and barred some 90,000 registered sex offenders from using the site over the last two years, MySpace revealed to an investigative task force on Tuesday.

The "shocking" number was 40,000 more than MySpace had previously acknowledged, according to Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, a co-chairman of the task force of state attorneys general looking into sex offenders' use of social networking.

MySpace, owned by News Corp.'s Fox Interactive Media digital division, disclosed the figures to the task force in response to a subpoena.

"This shocking revelation, resulting from our subpoena, provides compelling proof that social networking sites remain rife with sexual predators," Blumenthal said in a statement.

Blumenthal's office said it was awaiting a response to a similar subpoena issued to Facebook, another popular social networking site that his office said also might host "substantial numbers of convicted offenders."

Facebook's Chief Privacy Officer Chris Kelly said in a statement it was working with Blumenthal's office but said the site had "not yet had to handle a case of a registered sex offender meeting a minor through Facebook."

"Unlike MySpace or other social networking sites, Facebook has always enforced a real-name culture and has developed and deployed social verification and powerful privacy rules that allow people to interact in a safer and more trusted environment," the statement said.

Two years ago, MySpace commissioned background verification firm Sentinel Safe Tech Holdings Corp. to create a national database of sex offenders after reports that some of its teenage users were abducted by sex predators.

Sentinel operates a U.S. database of sex offenders that includes as many as 120 details for each offender, from their names and addresses to their scars and tattoos, Sentinel Chief Executive John Cardillo said.

Before the national database was created, information on convicted sex offenders was available only locally.

MySpace said on Tuesday the technology had enabled it to identify 90,000 users as registered sex offenders -- people who have been found guilty of sex crimes and ordered to register with law enforcement officials -- and had removed and blocked them from the site.

"We can confirm that MySpace has removed these individuals from our site and is providing data about these offenders to any law enforcement agency including the Attorney General's in Connecticut," MySpace's Chief Security Officer Hemanshu Nigam said in a statement.

Did the crime occur in Mario Kart???



WANTED: Japanese Man that resembles this Nintendo Mii character... for a hit in run...

stupid...




A pigeon-lover ruffled a few feathers today at an airport in Australia - after customs agents found two birds stuffed into his pants as he attempted to smuggle them into the country, authorities said.

The 23-year-old man, who was not identified, wrapped the pair of pigeons in newspaper and concealed one on the inside of each of his legs for the duration of a ten-hour flight from Dubai, the Times of London reported.

Customs officials in Melbourne said he would have escaped detection if they had not discovered two eggs hidden in his pocket and decided to carry out a full body search.

The officers also uncovered seeds inside a money belt stuffed in his bag, the newspaper reported.

Australia has some of the strictest customs laws in the world since importing new animals or plant life could spread disease across the island nation.

Richard Janeczko, who serves as the country's national investigations manager for customs service, said wildlife smuggling "is not only cruel to the animals involved, it poses a severe risk to the Australian environment and the health of the Australian community."

If the man is charged with wildlife smuggling, he could face a maximum penalty of 10 years behind bars and a $72,000 fine.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Star Wars...

Hitler Boy in News Again....

A 3-year-old boy named Adolf Hitler and his two Nazi-named younger sisters were removed from their New Jersey home last week and placed in state custody, police said.

Adolf Hitler Campbell and his sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, were taken from their Holland Township, N.J., home on Friday by the state's Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS), Sgt. John Harris of the Holland Township Police Department told FOXNews.com.

Their father, Heath Campbell, is expected in court Thursday in Flemington, N.J., in connection with the case.

Kate Bernyk, a spokeswoman for the DYFS, said confidentiality laws barred her from commenting on the case or even confirming that the Campbell children were involved.

"DYFS has their reasons and they normally don’t release any information, so we kind of have to go on faith with them," Harris said. Police were not told what the agency was investigating.

"I’ve dealt with the family for years and as far as the children are concerned, I have never had any reports of any abuse with the children," Harris said. "As far as I know, he’s always been very good with the children."


Speaking generally, Bernyk said the state's "decision to remove a child is based on the safety and well being of the child and the risk to that child, and that decision is made in conjunction with the courts and the county family court judge."

The Campbells made national news last month when a ShopRite supermarket refused to sell them a birthday cake with Adolf Hitler's name on it. The story generated a slew of angry Internet chatter.

Forensic psychologist N.G. Berrill said naming a boy Hitler could be considered child abuse.

"Part of it is the infantile nature of the parents’ behavior," Berrill said. "You can name your dog something weird, but they think they’re making some kind of bold statement with the children, not appreciating that the children will have separate lives and will be looked at in a negative light until they’re able to change their name. It is abuse."

Heath Campbell told the Easton-Express Times last year that he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked it and "no one else in the world would have that name."

A paper to be published in March in Social Sciences Journal by economists David E. Kalist and Daniel Y. Lee of Shippensburg University found that unpopular first names, when mixed with factors like a disadvantaged home life, can increase the tendency toward juvenile delinquency.

Lee told FOXNews.com that Adolf and Hitler were not names they looked at for the study.

"Hitler most likely would be an unpopular name in the sense that not many people name their children with a name [like Hitler], but we didn’t particularly look at particularly bad names like that," he said.

New Jersey officials said Wednesday that it is not just a matter of names.

"DYFS would never remove a child simply based on that child's name," Bernyk said.

The Super Bowl... OF PORN.

US sports fans in Arizona got a surprise when their TV coverage of American football's Super Bowl was interrupted by a pornographic film.

Tucson-based KVOA-TV said it was "dismayed and disappointed" after some cable viewers had their match coverage disrupted towards the end of the game. The company said the material was only seen by viewers of one cable network.

"KVOA will investigate what happened and make sure our viewers get answers," company president Gary Nielsen said.
"When the NBC feed of the Super Bowl was transmitted from KVOA to local cable providers and through over-the-air antennas, there was no pornographic material," he added. Comcast, the cable company whose viewers saw the material, said it was investigating. Local media outlets reported that they received calls from furious viewers.

The clip showed a woman unzipping a man's trousers, followed by a graphic act between the two.
"I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up," viewer Cora King told the Arizona Daily Star.
"Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out." The interruption happened just after the last touchdown by the Arizona Cardinals, who lost the match to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The Uncharted Zone... Mark Gormley

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Burn, baby...

TOKYO (Reuters) – A blaze broke out at a fire station in Japan this week after a firefighter left a cooking stove burning as crew members left the station to respond to emergency calls.
Most of the duty staffers were out on a call when their colleague, alone at the station and cooking dinner for the crew, was himself called out.
In his haste to respond to the call, he forgot to turn the stove off, said Seiji Hori, a Nagoya City Fire Department official. Ten fire trucks from other stations put out the fire, Hori added.
"We are an institute that should be in a position to educate people about fire, so we are extremely sorry that such an incident happened," Hori said, adding that they would consider ordering-in for dinner from now on.

Michael Israel.