Growing up after the X

Is this for real?

2009-08-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

This is that is this.

2009-08-18T00:00:00.001-07:00

FYI Growingupafterthex.blogspot.com is also Quintstevenson.Tumblr.com, so Growing Up After the X is Growing Up After the X... which is also inversely Growing Up After the X... so check out the Tumblr Feed...

...

2009-08-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

I missed all of July... check my shared google reader feed for good stuff though... updated daily... just like my Twitter feed...

Ice Cream!

2009-06-24T00:12:00.001-07:00

I'm ahead of the times...

2009-06-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

...unlike Taylor Swift... she's making cute white girl rap spoof videos 2 years too late (see Natalie Portman's SNL spoof on Hulu). Not to mention the fact that hat she's wearing looks kinda familiar...

...yeah I was using the same stupid hat to diss on rap 2 years ago...

...and T-Pain already went the SNL route joking on auto tune with "I'm on a Boat". WICKED LATE TO THE PARTY. Then again, would I expect anything less of the Country Music Television Network???

Ever walk your dog.... ON WEED?

2009-06-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

2009-06-15T07:35:00.001-07:00

FROM The Smoking Gun..

JUNE 12--A North Carolina man is facing criminal charges for creating an amusing piece of public art from construction barrels. Joseph Carnevale, 21, was nabbed Wednesday after a Raleigh Police Department investigation determined that he was responsible for the work constructed May 31 on a roadway adjacent to North Carolina State University. Carnevale was charged with misdemeanor larceny for allegedly building his orange monster from materials pilfered from a construction site. According to an arrest warrant, Carnevale "destroyed three road blocking barrels by cutting and screwing them together to form a statue." Police estimated that Carnevale's artwork caused $360 in damages to Hamlett Associates, the North Carolina construction company that owned the barrels. Carnevale is scheduled for a July 21 court appearance in Wake County.

...

2009-06-08T21:55:00.001-07:00

Celebrity?

2009-06-05T12:12:00.000-07:00

Dude... "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here..." Heidi said she wanted to be Mother Theresa... and Spencer Pratt says he's "Too big a celebrity" to be there... personally I think they're all total D-Listers...

For Your Information...

2009-05-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

Fette Sau Dry Rub

1/3 cup garlic powder
1 1/2 Tbsp ground cumin
2 1/3 cup dark brown sugar
1 Tbsp cayenne pepper
1/4 cup ground cinnamon
2 cup ground coffee (espresso grind)
2 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup ground black pepper

Enough rub for enough meat for 4 people.

The rub can be used on any cut of meat, on a BBQ or in smoker.

Man sucks on dogs nose.

2009-05-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

CHEYENNE, Wyo. – A man said he saved his dog's life after sucking venom from a rattlesnake bite out of the animal's nose. Bobby Jenkins said he began feeling ill after getting his dog, Tank, to a veterinarian. He went to the hospital and received a dose of antivenin.
In all, Jenkins needed four vials of antivenin at a cost of $3,500 per vial.
Meanwhile, Jenkins said his dog's head swelled up to three times its normal size. Tank had been bitten after running under some equipment on the family ranch.
The dog also received antivenin and both Jenkins and his dog have recovered.

Dude smokes weed out of skull. Gets high.

2009-05-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

HOUSTON - At least three teenagers admitted to using a severed human head as a bong to smoke marijuana -- after digging it up from a gravesite, a newspaper reported Thursday.

According to a report in the Houston Chronicle, 17-year-old Kevin Wade Jones told police about the incident while the teen was being questioned about some recent vehicle burglaries in the area.

At first, authorities said they didn't believe Jones' pot-smoking story because it was so morbid. They also believed it was a diversion tactic to draw attention away from the vehicle burglaries.

Later, however, police realized the story's truth after visiting one of Jones' cohorts. Officials said when they questioned 17-year-old Matthew Richard Gonzales about the incident, the boy vomited in a plate of food he was eating.

Jones, Gonzales and another teen are accused of digging up the corpse of an 11-year-old boy and using his head to smoke the marijuana. However, it wasn't clear whether the teens actually decapitated the body.

The corpse belonged to a young boy named Willie Simms, who died in 1921. Authorities confirmed that the boy's grave was found vandalized, but the head used to smoke pot had not yet been recovered. The little-known cemetery, where the child was buried, is believed to have been reserved for black military veterans and their families during the first half of the 20th century.

Police are looking to question a fourth person about the incident, but it wasn't clear whether that person participated in the actions.

The other three teens are charged with abuse of a corpse -- a misdemeanor. Each of the boys reportedly gave written and verbal confessions, in which they claimed to have dug up the boy's body during a two-day period.

Authorities are trying to find living relatives of the boy. They said their ultimate goal is to put the child's body back to rest.

Zombie Fire Ants

2009-05-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

It sounds like something out of science fiction: zombie fire ants. But it's all too real.
Fire ants wander aimlessly away from the mound.
Eventually their heads fall off, and they die.
The strange part is that researchers at the University of Texas at Austin and Texas A&M's AgriLife Extension Service say making "zombies" out of fire ants is a good thing.
"It's a tool — they're not going to completely wipe out the fire ant, but it's a way to control their population," said Scott Ludwig , an integrated pest management specialist with the AgriLife Extension Service in Overton , in East Texas .
The tool is the tiny phorid fly, native to a region of South America where the fire ants in Texas originated. Researchers have learned that there are as many as 23 phorid species along with pathogens that attack fire ants to keep their population and movements under control.
So far, four phorid species have been introduced in Texas .
The flies "dive-bomb" the fire ants and lay eggs. The maggot that hatches inside the ant eats away at the brain, and the ant starts exhibiting what some might say is zombie-like behavior.
"At some point, the ant gets up and starts wandering," said Rob Plowes, a research associate at UT.
The maggot eventually migrates into the ant's head, but Plowes said he "wouldn't use the word 'control' to describe what is happening. There is no brain left in the ant, and the ant just starts wandering aimlessly. This wandering stage goes on for about two weeks."
About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges ready to attack any foraging ants away from the mound and lay eggs.
Plowes said fire ants are "very aware" of these tiny flies, and it only takes a few to cause the ants to modify their behavior.
"Just one or two flies can control movement or above-ground activity," Plowes said. "It's kind of like a medieval activity where you're putting a castle under siege."
Researchers began introducing phorid species in Texas in 1999. The first species has traveled all the way from Central and South Texas to the Oklahoma border. This year, UT researchers will add colonies south of the Metroplex at farms and ranches from Stephenville to Overton . It is the fourth species introduced in Texas .
Fire ants cost the Texas economy about $1 billion annually by damaging circuit breakers and other electrical equipment, according to a Texas A&M study. They can also threaten young calves.
Determining whether the phorid flies will work in Texas will take time, perhaps as long as a decade.
"These are very slow acting," Plowes said. "It's more like a cumulative impact measured across a time frame of years. It's not an immediate silver bullet impact."
The flies, which are USDA -approved, do not attack native ants or species and have been introduced in other Gulf Coast states, Plowes said. Despite initial concerns, farmers and ranchers have been willing to let researchers use their property to establish colonies. At the Texas and Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association in Fort Worth in March, Plowes said they found plenty of volunteers.
By Bill Hanna, Fort Worth Star-Telegram

Slap Chop CHOPPED AND SCREWED REMIX...

2009-05-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

I know this is a year old... BUT...

2009-05-05T08:17:00.001-07:00

Dustin put a link to the blog in an email 90 seconds ago... so I'm tossing this video up... see you tomorrow...
..and yeah.. it's really him...

Awesome Warning, this is about: Pet Psychics And Flying Dogs...

2009-04-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

WATERFORD TOWNSHIP, Mich. – Tinker Bell has been reunited with her owners after a 70-mph gust of wind picked up the six-pound Chihuahua and tossed her out of sight.
Dorothy and Lavern Utley credit a pet psychic for guiding them on Monday to a wooded area nearly a mile from where 8-month-old Tinker Bell had been last seen. The brown long-haired dog was dirty and hungry but otherwise OK.
The Utleys, of Rochester, had set up an outdoor display Saturday at a flea market in Waterford Township, 25 miles northwest of Detroit. Tinker Bell was standing on their platform trailer when she was swept away.
Dorothy Utley tells The Detroit News that her cherished pet "just went wild" upon seeing her.

Auto Tuned...

2009-04-25T07:32:00.001-07:00

Personally I despise Gay Sand Lesbians...

2009-04-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

They get their sand all over my carpets... it totally sucks...

(poll was from Perez Hilton this morning)

Eagle Tec USB...

2009-04-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

This thing is small... like little boy swimming in icy pool water, shriveled up small... It's 33 bucks for an 8 gig one... It would take about 50 to fill up a pint glass... That's like 1600 dollars a pint... that's how much these puppies go for...

stupid...

2009-04-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

What dumb-ass google art director left Wyland in charge of redesigning their logo for Earth Day???

Craigslist Killer...

2009-04-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

-That's a picture from the "wedding website" of Phil Markoff and his lady friend... this dude it turns out was born and raised in upstate New York, near the Turning Stone Casino... I didn't know such fucked up psychopaths were nearby... I would have bought him a beer... NOT.

We'll fry that shit...

2009-04-21T23:25:00.001-07:00

Quint Stevenson presents Stevenson Quints.

2009-04-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

Stevenson Quints... in the NEWS...

Who Reads This...

2009-04-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

Reply if you read this blog... updates have sucked lately, sorry, been on vacation... BTW my google reader link is ... here ... and in the sidebar, if you have Gmail you can add me, or jest check the sidebar here on After The X, it will update multiple times daily... as you can see, I redid the font/color/ etc. better? worse? you decide. Also, I have a studio visit coming up here in the BK... XXX ...

Tea Bagging...

2009-04-16T07:57:00.001-07:00

young and stupid...

2009-04-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

PEORIA, Illinois (Reuters) – A 13-year-old boy who police say was caught red-handed a block away was accused on Tuesday of robbing a bank in Peoria.
The unidentified boy was charged with felony armed robbery in juvenile court, accused of threatening a teller with a gun and demanding cash.
He was found hiding in a nearby garage about 30 minutes after Monday's robbery, stained red from a dye pack that had been placed in the bag of money.
"It's the youngest person I can remember," said Sheriff Michael McCoy, a four-decade veteran of the sheriff's office.
Prosecutors were considering whether to seek to have him tried as an adult and face up to 30 years in prison.

Stupid...

2009-04-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

WACO, Texas – Police said a fight over flatulence left one man stabbed and another facing an assault charge. A statement Wednesday said police were called to a motel where several men from the Houston area were sharing a room. Police said a 35-year-old man allegedly passed gas in the room Tuesday night.

Police said one of the other men became upset, picked up a knife and threw it at the 35-year-old man, who was cut in the leg. The suspect was accused of then stabbing the man in the chest.

The 35-year-old was taken to the hospital and police said he was treated for non-life threatening wounds.
The alleged attacker was arrested and faces an aggravated assault charge.

You're In... NOT.

2009-04-05T03:38:00.001-07:00

NEW YORK - New York University officials weren't laughing when hundreds of people mistakenly received word that they'd been accepted to grad school on April Fools' Day.

NYU says it sent out acceptance e-mails April 1 to 489 applicants to the Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service. Those applicants should have received rejection letters instead.

The school sent out a second e-mail about an hour later to the applicants, saying they hadn't been accepted after all.

Nothing to see here...

2009-04-03T11:44:00.001-07:00

So This camera man corners me and Agne in a park...

2009-03-30T09:18:00.001-07:00

... and Agne starts to talk... and I roll my eyes... and they put it on TV...

NCAA Final 4... Starts Saturday...

2009-03-30T07:28:00.001-07:00

Real World... Worst Ever?

2009-03-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

This season of the Real World (Real World: Brooklyn) is the shittiest yet. Worst characters. Worst loft (they scrambled at the last minute to do a hack job finish when they were booted out of Bell Towers towards downtown BKLYN). Worst episodes. The characters have little to no drive (Baya (the cute-sy girl this season) tries out for a dance company and makes it (probably just so the dance company can get free publicity) and then turns the dance company down. Devyn (a lazy, sleeping all the time beauty queen from Kansas City with a huge rack) contributes nearly nothing to the show but a pretty face and a passion for playing men 2-at-a-time (you don't know how he treated me in the past... (really good excuse for lying and covering up another guy Devyn). Chet is a moron... I mean mormon who goes to MTV's Time Square Studios wanting to see a taping of TRL (his dream job is to host it) only to find out it doesn't exist (pick up a newspaper). Chet (spiky hair dresses gay) interviews mediocre bands I've never heard of and his interviews consist of him talking as much as the interviewee... (I guess because he's the "Star" of the show not the shitty bands, I'll let it fly, but in reality it reminds me of this...)

The kids all go to drink in Manhattan because they got shunned out of Brooklyn's drinking establishments. They don't go anywhere cool, just "Angels and Kings" (never shown without mentioning IT'S OWNED BY PETE WENTZ OF FALLOUT BOY). It looks like in this week they guys get into a fight, possibly because they tried to go out in Brooklyn one night??? I don't know but we'll see this Wednesday (or in my case Thursday when they upload that shit on MTV.COM). Supposedly Baya, Devyn and Chet are all still living in NYC somewhere around Union Square (Stuyvesant Town). If I ever see them out (like I saw Frankie who's afraid of ships from San Diego at MY bar in Kansas City) I'll tell them that they were the worst year ever. Maybe even worse than Denver.

stupid...

2009-03-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

HARRISBURG, Pa. – A retired police chief said he was robbed by "probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania," at a police officers' convention on Friday morning. John Comparetto said as he came out of a stall in the men's room, a man pointed a gun in his face and demanded money. There were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio at the gathering.
Comparetto gave up his money and cell phone. But when the man fled, Comparetto and some colleagues chased him. They arrested a 19-year-old man as he was trying to leave in a taxi.
The suspect is also awaiting trial on four previous robbery charges.
The suspect was arraigned and taken to Dauphin County Prison. When a reporter asked the suspect for comment as he was led out of court, he said, "I'm smooth."

Sham Wow... that guy's an idiot...

2009-03-28T09:04:00.001-07:00

So the dude from the sham wow ads had a hooker that bit his tongue and wouldn't let go... so he slapped her around until she let go. Makes sense.

stupid...

2009-03-26T15:10:00.001-07:00

A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison.

Jason Leroy Savage must also submit to drug testing.

The 29-year-old from Michigan, was sentenced Wednesday at Saginaw County Circuit Court.

Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.

Police say Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Savage's attorney, Philip Sturtz, didn't immediately return a message seeking comment.

Ever Wonder What A Total Pervert Looks Like...

2009-03-23T18:11:00.001-07:00

Above: Higgins High School teacher arrested after allegedly masturbating in classroom.

Best Game Ever...

2009-03-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

I'm from Syracuse, New York, and anybody that knows me knows this time of year everything kind of comes to a halt for me so I can watch college basketball 24/7 (hence the lack of updates from the past couple weeks)... Wednesday a couple weeks back I was at the Big East Tournament and had a chance to see the Syracuse v UConn game, that some are calling the greatest basketball of all-time. 4 hours, 6 overtimes... (mathematic probability of a college basketball going into 6 overtimes is 1 in 122,000 games)... pure insanity...

Cuse is rolling and in the Sweet 16, Oklahoma and the winner of a N. carolina/Gonzaga matchup stand between them and the Final Four in Detroit... Go Orange...

Stupid...

2009-03-23T14:15:00.001-07:00

LAWRENCE, Mass. – A Massachusetts man had some misfortune when he allegedly tried to rob a Chinese restaurant. Four plainclothes police officers were enjoying their dinner at the time.
The man was arraigned Thursday in Lawrence District Court on charges of unarmed robbery, larceny, assault and battery on a police officer, and resisting arrest.
Authorities said he went into the Golden House Restaurant on Wednesday night and asked the cashier to change a quarter. When she opened the register, the man allegedly grabbed $150.
The Eagle-Tribune reports that the owner yelled "Robbery, police." Sgt. Robert Michaud, officers Ivan Resto, Marco Ayala and Jaime Adames chased the man out of the restaurant and captured him after a brief foot chase.

Myspace Stabbing...

2009-03-23T14:13:00.001-07:00

A 14-year-old Fort Worth middle school student was stabbed in the chest with a pair of scissors today as she fought with a classmate over comments posted on a MySpace page, police said.

The girl was stabbed at repeatedly during the fight at Handley Middle School, 2801 Patino Road.

Barbara Griffith, a Fort Worth school district spokeswoman, said the MySpace argument was about a posting during spring break. She did not know where the fight took place at the school or where the scissors came from.

The injured girl suffered two shallow, non-life threatening puncture wounds, Fort Worth police said. The other girl was taken to the Tarrant County juvenile detention facility.

Fort Worth police were not immediately available for additional comment

Smoking Smarties...

2009-03-23T14:07:00.000-07:00

...thanks for the heads up Kate...

Stupid...

2009-03-11T00:05:00.001-07:00

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. (WUSA) - A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on TheBayNet.com, and Saint Mary's county public safety sources confirmed the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flown to Prince George's hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter.

County law enforcement officials who were familiar with the media report about this case said, although they were not initially called to investigate the incident, they would likely follow up to determine it was just an accident and involved consentual behavior.

SaTURDAY Morning Cartoons: M.A.S.K. (1985)

2009-03-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

Just Watch 'em Both...

2009-03-07T10:16:00.001-08:00

Lemonadezzz?

2009-03-04T08:58:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 07, 2009

BOYNTON BEACH — A man was charged with misusing 911 today for a midnight complaint that a Boynton Beach Burger King had run out of lemonade, police say.
Jean Fortune, 66, dialed 911 and told dispatchers he was "unhappy with his order" at the Burger King at 1521 W. Boynton Beach Blvd., according to an arrest report.
When a Boynton Beach police officer arrived, the cashier told him she had informed Fortune at the drive-thru that the store no longer served lemonade. He became angry when he picked up his order at the window and threatened to call police.
The cashier told him to "Go ahead."
The officer noted in his report that Fortune could not explain why he resorted to calling 911 for a "civil dilemma."
He was issued a notice to appear in court.

McNuggetzzz...

2009-03-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

FORT PIERCE, Fla. - Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
A police report says 27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.
She says she was refused a refund and told all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.
"This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one," Goodman told police, according to The Stuart News. "This is an emergency."
Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. A current phone listing for Goodman couldn't be found.
A McDonald's spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she's being sent a gift card for a free meal.

(THANKS CAT!)

SATURDAY Morning Cartoons: Ghostbusters (1986)

2009-02-28T10:40:00.000-08:00

Stupid...

2009-02-28T10:33:00.000-08:00

FORT PIERCE — Eric T. Ambrose claimed he served in the military in Iraq, so he could swipe all the M&Ms he wanted.

Police apparently disagreed and arrested him about 3:50 a.m. Monday after pulling packages of the candy known for melting in your mouth, not in your hands, from his pockets at the Pilot truck stop in the 7100 block of Okeechobee Road, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

It wasn’t the first time Ambrose, 31, had been arrested this month — on Saturday he created a “spectacle” at a Super 8 Motel and was arrested and charged with disorderly intoxication and causing a public disturbance, police said.

In the most recent case, in addition to the three packs of peanut M&Ms, Ambrose reportedly absconded with two black T-shirts, a 20-ounce Bud Light and single packages each of Circus Peanuts candy, chewing tobacco, Wonka Nerds candy, Planters cashews, Reese’s Pieces and Sour Patch candy. Also allegedly taken were two each of large Snickers candy bars and beef jerky packages.

An officer approached Ambrose at the cashier counter, and initially he denied taking anything.

“This officer could clearly see the pocket on the right side of the defendant’s pants were bulging and M&Ms packages could be seen,” the affidavit states. “This officer started removing the candy from his pocket and (another officer) started removing more candy and a T-shirt from his left pockets.”

Ambrose said he bought everything but had no receipt. A clerk and a supervisor said they’d rung up no purchases for Ambrose, who appeared to have been drinking. Ambrose, listed as homeless in Fort Pierce, faces a retail theft charge.

“While in the patrol vehicle the defendant was screaming out the window that he had served in the military over in Iraq so he could steal all the M&M’s he wanted,” the affidavit states.

Ambrose’s claim of military service could not be immediately verified. He was held Wednesday in the St. Lucie County jail on $5,000 bail, a jail official said.

In the earlier case, Ambrose had “thrown himself onto the ground and was curled up to a black handbag,” at the motel when officers arrived, according to a police report.

Officers noticed a strong odor of alcohol coming from Ambrose. He said “he had nowhere to go and he can’t go back to his home state because they have methamphetamine.” Ambrose then stated that Fort Pierce “only had crack,” which keeps him high for a little while and was “safer for him.”

Officers placed him under arrest for disorderly intoxication after a fifth warning. He was released Sunday on $250 bail. Ambrose also was arrested in April on charges including disorderly intoxication, simple assault and panhandling, a jail official said.

FMYLIFE.COM

2009-02-22T15:00:00.000-08:00

Some highlights...

"Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML"

"Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML"

"Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML"

"Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML"

"Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML"

"Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML"

"Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML"

"Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister... Like... you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML"

SATURDAY Morning Cartoons: Hulk Hogan's Rock 'N' Wrestling

2009-02-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

GIANT RAT caught in China

2009-02-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

The rat, which weighed six pounds and had a 12-inch tail, was caught at the weekend in a residential area of Fuzhou, a city of six million people on China's south coast.
The ratcatcher, who was only named as Mr Xian, said he swooped for the rodent after seeing a big crowd of people surrounding it on the street.
He told local Chinese newspapers that he thought the rat might be a valuable specimen, or a rare species, and had to muster up his courage before grabbing its tail and picking it up by the scruff of its neck.
"I did it, I caught a rat the size of a cat!" he shouted out afterwards, according to the reports. Mr Xian is believed to still be in possession of the animal, after stuffing into a bag and departing the scene.
The local forestry unit in the city identified the nightmarish creature as a bamboo rat from initial photographs, but said that it would need to examine the rat more closely before making a final identification.
Chinese bamboo rats rarely grow beyond ten inches and are found throughout southern China, northern Burma and Vietnam.
However, the Sumatra bamboo rat, usually found in the south-western Chinese province of Yunnan and in the Malay Peninsula can grow up to 30 inches long, including tail, and can weigh up to eight pounds.
A "Giant Rat of Sumatra" is mentioned in the Sherlock Holmes tale: The Adventure of a Sussex Vampire.
All bamboo rats are slow-moving and usually spend their time in underground burrows, feeding on bamboo. Chinese bamboo rats are often sold for meat in Chinese markets. The largest rats in the world are thought to be African giant pouched rats, which can grow up to 36 inches in length.

stupid...

2009-02-17T19:36:00.001-08:00

BEIJING, China (CNN) -- A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.

The businessman and his spurned mistress met in Qingdao, pictured here last August, local media report.

But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.

The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.

Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on December 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.

The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.

At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name -- Fan -- was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.

The women knew of one another, but none elected to break up with the man and give up their rent-free apartment and a 5,000 yuan ($730) monthly allowance, the reports said.

When the economy soured, the businessman apparently decided to let go of all but one mistress.

He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.

The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.

It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.

Fan shut down his company after the crash and paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan ($84,744) as compensation for her death.

The four other women left him, as did his wife when she learned of the affairs.

Half Time...

2009-02-14T22:32:00.000-08:00

stupid...

2009-02-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

BELLEVUE, Wash. – A man in Washington state made sure a pair of burglars didn't get away with his three flat-screen televisions — he moved their getaway car.

Patrick Rosario was in the basement of his Bellevue home on Tuesday when he heard the burglars upstairs. The Seattle Times says the 32-year-old Rosario, who had been laid off from his job as a Washington Mutual manager, called 911 while he sneaked out of the house. He saw a white van sitting in front of his house with the motor running and the keys in the ignition, and he got in and drove it to a friend's house. Police say the burglars left the televisions, a laptop computer and a jewelry box by the door and took off on foot. The sheriff's office said no arrests had been made.

Because man can't live on cartoons alone...

2009-02-14T16:00:00.000-08:00

Saturday Morning Cartoons: TEEN WOLF (1986-1987)

2009-02-14T07:07:00.000-08:00

Inspired by the "drinkability" ads currently being run by Budweiser, I will rate the Saturday morning cartoons on "watchability"; with a maximum rating of 5 TV's...
TEEN WOLF comes in as a solid, if somewhat forgotten cartoon; 3.5 TV's.

People who know me...

2009-02-10T12:00:00.000-08:00

...know I have a soft spot for ridiculous British rapping... so Blackout Crew has blown me away with their "music"... the entire package, from the crummy track suits, to the pounding techno, is phenomenal... so here is Blackout Crew... PUT A DONK ON IT:

P.S. Starting this Saturday I will be screening Saturday morning cartoons here on After The X... any requests???

Think Outside The Bun.

2009-02-09T15:14:00.001-08:00

NORMAL, Ill. – Wedding bells meant Taco Bell for Paul and Caragh Brooks.
Customers inside the fast-food restaurant continued to order tacos and burritos as the couple sat Friday in an orange booth at Taco Bell and exchanged vows.
"It's appropriate," groom Paul Brooks said. "It's an offbeat relationship."
Employees displayed hot sauce packets labeled with the words "Will you marry me?" They decorated the restaurant with streamers and balloons.
The bride wore a $15 hot pink dress and the entire wedding cost about $200. Several dozen guests looked on as the couple's friend, Ryan Green of Normal, administered the vows while wearing a T-shirt. He was ordained online.
"This is the way to go — there's no stress," said the groom's mother, Kathy Brooks.
Caragh Brooks, 21, of Australia, met Paul Brooks, 30, on an Internet dating Web site. They already had the same last name.
The couple wrote back and forth and talked on the phone for nine months before Caragh Brooks moved to the United States.
"We have the same brain, just in two bodies," Paul Brooks said. "We think alike in virtually every manner. We have the same interests, viewpoints."
He proposed on New Year's Eve and, because they like to spend time at the local Taco Bell, they decided to wed there.
"I would never have expected in my life in working here there would be a wedding," restaurant manager Carl Hamlow said.

Surprisingly they look like a normal, and cute couple...

First Poster Boy, now this...

2009-02-08T02:00:00.001-08:00

BOSTON (Reuters) – An artist who created an iconic red, white and blue portrait of President Barack Obama that appeared on thousands of posters and T-shirts was arrested in Boston on graffiti charges, police said on Saturday.
Shepard Fairey, a Los Angeles artist whose "Hope" image of Obama hangs in the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, was arrested on Friday night while traveling to the Institute of Contemporary Art to kickoff his first solo exhibition.
Police accuse Fairey of damaging property with graffiti in several locations and issued warrants for his arrest on January 24, Boston police spokesman James Kenneally said.
An arraignment is scheduled on Monday. If convicted on all charges, he faces up to three years in jail, Kenneally said.
Fairey made headlines this week when The Associated Press claimed his Obama portrait infringed on its copyright to a photograph used for the artwork and that it should be compensated for its use.
Fairey has acknowledged that his image was based on an April 2006 Associated Press photograph of Obama.
Fairey was to appear as a guest disc jockey at a museum event on Friday to launch the 20-year retrospective of his artwork. He spent the past two weeks in Boston installing the exhibit, giving public talks and creating outdoor art including a banner on the side of City Hall, according to a museum statement.
The museum said Fairey was arrested "in connection with his efforts posting his art in various areas around the city."
"We believe Shepard Fairey has made an important contribution in the history of art and to popular thinking about art and its role in society," the statement said.

I'd beat the piss out of this dude if I was the juror...

2009-02-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

SAN DIEGO -- A mistrial was declared Monday when a home-invasion robbery suspect smeared human feces on his attorney's face then threw more at the jury.
Weusi McGowan, 37, was upset because San Diego Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Fraser refused to remove Deputy Alternate Public Defender Jeffrey Martin from the case, prosecutor Christopher Lawson said.
At the mid-morning break, McGowan produced a plastic baggie filled with fecal matter and spread it on Martin's hair and face, then flung the excrement toward the jury box, hitting the briefcase of juror No. 9 but missing the juror himself.

"That juror didn't even see it coming," Lawson said.
The prosecutor said the defendant was compliant after the outburst and was taken into custody without further incident.
After lunch, Fraser dismissed the jury, telling them McGowan would have to get a new lawyer and that his trial would be delayed.
The judge scheduled a status conference for Feb. 9 and raised the defendant's bail from $250,000 to $1 million, finding he is a danger to the community.
Lawson said McGowan originally became upset last week when he claimed one of the jurors saw him in shackles as he entered the courtroom. Fraser dismissed all jurors who saw the defendant in shackles, the prosecutor said.
"The judge had been very fair," Lawson said. "All jurors who saw it were dismissed."
Fraser had also denied McGowan's attempt to represent himself, saying the request was untimely, Lawson said.
The prosecutor said the defendant had previously wiped human feces on himself and was examined by doctors to ensure he was mentally competent to stand trial.
McGowan is charged with kidnapping for robbery, assault with a deadly weapon and other counts and could face assault charges in connection with the attack on his attorney and jury, Lawson said.
The prosecutor said the defendant hit a man with a rock in a sock as the victim came out of his home to investigate a commotion on Oct. 17, 2007.
McGowan allegedly ransacked the man's apartment then stole some of the victim's belongings and took off in the victim's car.
He was arrested 20 minutes later, Lawson said.

This is from Monica...

2009-02-07T12:37:00.000-08:00

...no joke.

Quint's Crazy Adventure.....

2009-02-05T23:31:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the good folks at Red Bull put on the New York City "Snow Scrappers" event. Being the respectable media outlet we are here at AFTER THE X, we had to go check it out and report back to you...

... the ramp was sick... from the JMZ train on the Williamsburg bridge you could see the slope leading up to the hit... it was like 120 feet tall...

It was like impossible to catch a shot of the riders going down. They were riding way fast. And the VIP media shit was wicked close...

Retahded Close to the ramp...

Wicked Close To All The Sick Pros...

So then I see this VIP line on a red carpet, leading up to a sick yacht. So I decide I'm going to get on that shit... I met these 2 dudes that work for a skate shop in Brooklyn... they know a dude that knows a guy that works for Burton. We get to the front of this line after like 15 minutes... then for some reason they let me on without even looking for a VIP pass or anything.

The boat had windows looking out to the ramp, but they were mad cloudy... cause it was hot up in that mug with all the people keeping nice and warm with free Dos Equis and Red Bull and vodka and shit...

... plus there were plasmas to watch the action on...

Wait till puberty hits....

2009-02-05T12:35:00.000-08:00

If I Could Rule The World...

2009-02-04T23:33:00.000-08:00

...Is the title of my next installation... (subtitle: The Beginning Of My Ascension to the Center of the Universe Part 3)

Lady is Stupid.... 772 Times In A Row...

2009-02-04T22:55:00.000-08:00

SEOUL (AFP) – A dogged South Korean grandmother has failed her driving test 771 times, police said Thursday, but a local newspaper reported she will keep trying. The 68-year-old, identified only by her last name Cha, has taken the test almost every working day since 2005 in the southwestern city of Jeonju. She failed again Monday for the 771st time. "It was a record-breaking number here," Choi Yong-Cheol, a police sergeant supervising the test in the city's Deokjingu district, told AFP. "I wonder if she will try it again for a 772nd time."

The Korea Times said Cha will in fact be back for another attempt. Choi said that Cha cannot pass the preliminary written section of the test, averaging scores of 30-50 whereas the pass mark is 60 out of 100. Local media said that Cha sells food and household items door to door at apartment complexes, carrying the items in a handcart, but wants to get a car for her business.
Police estimate she has spent almost five million won (3,600 dollars) to take the written test, with each test costing 6,000 won in addition to other expenses. "I feel sorry every time I see Cha fail. When she passes, I'll make a commemorative tablet myself and give it to her," one officer was quoted as saying.

Myspace = 90,000 (+) Sex Offenders...

2009-02-03T18:43:00.001-08:00

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The online networking site MySpace has identified and barred some 90,000 registered sex offenders from using the site over the last two years, MySpace revealed to an investigative task force on Tuesday.

The "shocking" number was 40,000 more than MySpace had previously acknowledged, according to Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, a co-chairman of the task force of state attorneys general looking into sex offenders' use of social networking.

MySpace, owned by News Corp.'s Fox Interactive Media digital division, disclosed the figures to the task force in response to a subpoena.

"This shocking revelation, resulting from our subpoena, provides compelling proof that social networking sites remain rife with sexual predators," Blumenthal said in a statement.

Blumenthal's office said it was awaiting a response to a similar subpoena issued to Facebook, another popular social networking site that his office said also might host "substantial numbers of convicted offenders."

Facebook's Chief Privacy Officer Chris Kelly said in a statement it was working with Blumenthal's office but said the site had "not yet had to handle a case of a registered sex offender meeting a minor through Facebook."

"Unlike MySpace or other social networking sites, Facebook has always enforced a real-name culture and has developed and deployed social verification and powerful privacy rules that allow people to interact in a safer and more trusted environment," the statement said.

Two years ago, MySpace commissioned background verification firm Sentinel Safe Tech Holdings Corp. to create a national database of sex offenders after reports that some of its teenage users were abducted by sex predators.

Sentinel operates a U.S. database of sex offenders that includes as many as 120 details for each offender, from their names and addresses to their scars and tattoos, Sentinel Chief Executive John Cardillo said.

Before the national database was created, information on convicted sex offenders was available only locally.

MySpace said on Tuesday the technology had enabled it to identify 90,000 users as registered sex offenders -- people who have been found guilty of sex crimes and ordered to register with law enforcement officials -- and had removed and blocked them from the site.

"We can confirm that MySpace has removed these individuals from our site and is providing data about these offenders to any law enforcement agency including the Attorney General's in Connecticut," MySpace's Chief Security Officer Hemanshu Nigam said in a statement.

Did the crime occur in Mario Kart???

2009-02-03T15:56:00.000-08:00

WANTED: Japanese Man that resembles this Nintendo Mii character... for a hit in run...

stupid...

2009-02-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

A pigeon-lover ruffled a few feathers today at an airport in Australia - after customs agents found two birds stuffed into his pants as he attempted to smuggle them into the country, authorities said.

The 23-year-old man, who was not identified, wrapped the pair of pigeons in newspaper and concealed one on the inside of each of his legs for the duration of a ten-hour flight from Dubai, the Times of London reported.

Customs officials in Melbourne said he would have escaped detection if they had not discovered two eggs hidden in his pocket and decided to carry out a full body search.

The officers also uncovered seeds inside a money belt stuffed in his bag, the newspaper reported.

Australia has some of the strictest customs laws in the world since importing new animals or plant life could spread disease across the island nation.

Richard Janeczko, who serves as the country's national investigations manager for customs service, said wildlife smuggling "is not only cruel to the animals involved, it poses a severe risk to the Australian environment and the health of the Australian community."

If the man is charged with wildlife smuggling, he could face a maximum penalty of 10 years behind bars and a $72,000 fine.

Star Wars...

2009-02-02T23:54:00.001-08:00

Hitler Boy in News Again....

2009-02-02T23:48:00.000-08:00

A 3-year-old boy named Adolf Hitler and his two Nazi-named younger sisters were removed from their New Jersey home last week and placed in state custody, police said.

Adolf Hitler Campbell and his sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, were taken from their Holland Township, N.J., home on Friday by the state's Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS), Sgt. John Harris of the Holland Township Police Department told FOXNews.com.

Their father, Heath Campbell, is expected in court Thursday in Flemington, N.J., in connection with the case.

Kate Bernyk, a spokeswoman for the DYFS, said confidentiality laws barred her from commenting on the case or even confirming that the Campbell children were involved.

"DYFS has their reasons and they normally don’t release any information, so we kind of have to go on faith with them," Harris said. Police were not told what the agency was investigating.

"I’ve dealt with the family for years and as far as the children are concerned, I have never had any reports of any abuse with the children," Harris said. "As far as I know, he’s always been very good with the children."

Speaking generally, Bernyk said the state's "decision to remove a child is based on the safety and well being of the child and the risk to that child, and that decision is made in conjunction with the courts and the county family court judge."

The Campbells made national news last month when a ShopRite supermarket refused to sell them a birthday cake with Adolf Hitler's name on it. The story generated a slew of angry Internet chatter.

Forensic psychologist N.G. Berrill said naming a boy Hitler could be considered child abuse.

"Part of it is the infantile nature of the parents’ behavior," Berrill said. "You can name your dog something weird, but they think they’re making some kind of bold statement with the children, not appreciating that the children will have separate lives and will be looked at in a negative light until they’re able to change their name. It is abuse."

Heath Campbell told the Easton-Express Times last year that he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked it and "no one else in the world would have that name."

A paper to be published in March in Social Sciences Journal by economists David E. Kalist and Daniel Y. Lee of Shippensburg University found that unpopular first names, when mixed with factors like a disadvantaged home life, can increase the tendency toward juvenile delinquency.

Lee told FOXNews.com that Adolf and Hitler were not names they looked at for the study.

"Hitler most likely would be an unpopular name in the sense that not many people name their children with a name [like Hitler], but we didn’t particularly look at particularly bad names like that," he said.

New Jersey officials said Wednesday that it is not just a matter of names.

"DYFS would never remove a child simply based on that child's name," Bernyk said.

The Super Bowl... OF PORN.

2009-02-02T12:12:00.000-08:00

US sports fans in Arizona got a surprise when their TV coverage of American football's Super Bowl was interrupted by a pornographic film.

Tucson-based KVOA-TV said it was "dismayed and disappointed" after some cable viewers had their match coverage disrupted towards the end of the game. The company said the material was only seen by viewers of one cable network.

"KVOA will investigate what happened and make sure our viewers get answers," company president Gary Nielsen said.
"When the NBC feed of the Super Bowl was transmitted from KVOA to local cable providers and through over-the-air antennas, there was no pornographic material," he added. Comcast, the cable company whose viewers saw the material, said it was investigating. Local media outlets reported that they received calls from furious viewers.

The clip showed a woman unzipping a man's trousers, followed by a graphic act between the two.
"I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up," viewer Cora King told the Arizona Daily Star.
"Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out." The interruption happened just after the last touchdown by the Arizona Cardinals, who lost the match to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The Uncharted Zone... Mark Gormley

2009-02-02T00:19:00.001-08:00

Burn, baby...

2009-02-01T16:22:00.001-08:00

TOKYO (Reuters) – A blaze broke out at a fire station in Japan this week after a firefighter left a cooking stove burning as crew members left the station to respond to emergency calls.
Most of the duty staffers were out on a call when their colleague, alone at the station and cooking dinner for the crew, was himself called out.
In his haste to respond to the call, he forgot to turn the stove off, said Seiji Hori, a Nagoya City Fire Department official. Ten fire trucks from other stations put out the fire, Hori added.
"We are an institute that should be in a position to educate people about fire, so we are extremely sorry that such an incident happened," Hori said, adding that they would consider ordering-in for dinner from now on.

Michael Israel.

2009-02-01T13:28:00.000-08:00

The Uncharted Zone...

2009-01-30T22:39:00.001-08:00

Bed Stuy, Jordans...

2009-01-28T09:01:00.000-08:00

WTF

2009-01-25T13:03:00.000-08:00

INDEPENDENCE, Iowa –

An Iowa woman has been arrested because she failed to return a library book.
Thirty-nine-year-old Shelly Koontz was arrested Thursday night on a fifth-degree theft charge. She is accused of keeping "The Freedom Writers Diary," which she checked out from the public library in nearby Jesup in April.
Police say the book — which is about a high school teacher's effort to inspire students to write — is valued at $13.95.
Court records show library employees tried repeatedly to contact Koontz by phone and mail. A police officer even visited her home last September.
Officials at the Buchanan County jail say Koontz was released after posting $250 bond. No telephone listing for Koontz could be found in the Independence area.

Sweet quote... what does that word mean again???

2009-01-24T06:37:00.000-08:00

Stupid...

2009-01-23T16:34:00.000-08:00

LAGOS, Nigeria – One of Nigeria's biggest daily newspapers reported that police implicated a goat in an attempted automobile theft. In a front-page article on Friday, the Vanguard newspaper said that two men tried to steal a Mazda car two days earlier in Kwara State, with one suspect transforming himself into a goat as vigilantes cornered him.
The paper quoted police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed into a goat as he was about to be apprehended.
The newspaper reported that police paraded the goat before journalists, and published a picture of the animal.
Police in the state couldn't immediately be reached for comment.
Belief in black magic is widespread in Nigeria, particularly in far-flung rural areas.

stupid...

2009-01-21T14:18:00.000-08:00

stupid...

2009-01-19T09:54:00.000-08:00

2009-01-16T22:16:00.000-08:00

How Much Is A 14-Year-Old Worth?

2009-01-13T21:26:00.000-08:00

$16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.

GREENFIELD, Calif. (AP) - Police have arrested a Greenfield man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.

Police said they only learned of the deal after the 36-year-old man went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn't made as promised. The man was arrested Sunday on suspicion of human trafficking.

Officers also arrested an 18-year-old man on suspicion of statutory rape. Investigators believe the girl went willingly with the man, but she's under California's legal age of consent and can't legally marry.

Police say arranged marriages involving underage girls have become a problem in this small Central Coast farming community.

Ninja Bandit Can NOT Be Stopped!!!

2009-01-11T18:30:00.000-08:00

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.
Security video from the automated teller machines showed the unidentified man dressed in a black ninja outfit with a hood that showed only his eyes.
Authorities say the first attempt was made at a bank on Dec. 29 and the second at a Walgreens on Tuesday. Authorities did not say how the man tried to steal the machines.

WTF! WTF! WTF!

2009-01-11T09:46:00.000-08:00

You have to click on it...

IMPORTANT LATE-BREAKING NEWS !!!

2009-01-10T11:56:00.001-08:00

Obama ate lunch today... at Ben's Chili Bowl in Washington DC... he had a sausage topped with onions, and chili cheese fries.

Now you can go on with your lives...

YES.

2009-01-10T11:51:00.001-08:00

Thanks to Justin for this one...

Stupid...

2009-01-10T05:07:00.001-08:00

STOW, Ohio – A man may have tipped his intentions when he stood in line at an Ohio bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup. Police in Stow near Akron said 24-year-old Feliks Goldshtein of Highland Heights was arrested minutes later on Thursday following a brief car chase.
Police said the teller asked the man to take off the mask before being served. At that point the man displayed what turned out to be a toy gun and told the teller to give him all the money.
Police Captain Rick Myers said it's unusual for a masked robber to wait in line at a bank.
Goldshtein was being held at the Summit County Jail Friday on charges of aggravated robbery and failure to comply with a police order. He had an afternoon court appearance scheduled.

Get Off. Get Out.

2009-01-09T12:38:00.000-08:00

Cairns, Australia -

A local sex shop has been experiencing a rash of strange crimes in which the criminal smashes through the walls of the store and steals blow-up dolls for romantic interludes.

"He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley," said the store's owner. "It is totally bizarre. It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street."

The offender is both discriminating (he has taken a particular liking to a blow-up model called "Jungle Jane," which was stolen on both break-ins) and weirdly gentlemanly (he always cleans up after himself). The culprit could also be described as "extremely stupid," since he left his, sperm, DNA, and fingerprints all over his ill-gotten partners.

Man wants kidney back from his wife as part of the divorce settlement...

2009-01-08T08:21:00.000-08:00

$1.5 million or his kidney back-
That's the strange ultimatum a New York surgeon has given his estranged wife.

Dr Richard Batista donated his kidney to his wife Dawnell in 2001. His attorney claims that she began having an extramarital affair a couple of years after the transplant. She filed for divorce in 2005.

Dr. Batista decided to go public after four years of divorce negotations. He wants the donated kidney back, but will accept $1.5 million in compensation.

Mrs Batista and her attorney had no comment on the suit.

The couple has three children, ages, 8, 11 and 14.

Porn Industry Seeks Federal Bailout

2009-01-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Porn! : Now Featuring Vincent Van Gogh

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people."

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.

Middle Finger Salute...

2009-01-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

BEIJING (AFP) – A Chinese speed skater has been banned from national competition for a year after he gave a "one-fingered salute" to spectators who had jeered him, according to state press. Song Xingyu, 20, stuck his middle finger up at the crowd after crossing the finish line of the 10,000m event at the National Games in northeast China on Sunday.

"I apologise to all the spectators. I shouldn't have made that gesture," Song said afterwards, according to the China Daily, although he insisted he had been provoked.

"I did it because some people attacked me verbally and abused my parents. I was furious."

Song, who finished out of the placings representing China's northeast Heilongjiang province, had directed his gesture at members of the crowd from rival Jilin province. Song's apology was not enough to save him from the wrath of China's sports administrators, who are famous for their strict discipline and harsh punishments. The Heilongjiang sports bureau banned him from training and competing for 12 months, according to the China Daily.

"During the sanction period, Song should meditate on his mistake deeply and write a self-criticism," the bureau said in a statement. Among the other Chinese athletes to have faced tough punishments in recent years was table tennis player Chen Qi, who was sent to military boot camp in 2006 after he kicked a chair during a tournament in Japan.
And in 2004, four table tennis players were kicked off the national team for dating teammates as this was seen as jeopardising preparations for the Athens Olympics.

POO-EY!!!

2009-01-06T16:25:00.000-08:00

MILWAUKEE (Jan. 6) - A whopper about a devious baby and his diapers is the top lie of 2008, an organization of champion fibbers declared Monday.

The Burlington Liars Club bestowed its top award for this line: "My grandson is the most persuasive liar I have ever met. By the time he was 2 years old he could dirty his diaper and make his mother believe someone else had done it."
Garth Seehawer, 71, of Oconto Falls, said he took immense pride in having crafted the 2008 Champion Lie.
"When you're the best in the world at something, sure, that's an honor," he said, insisting with a chuckle that his background as a lawyer gave him no advantage.

Four judges picked Seehawer's lie out of about 160 entries.
The six runners-up included a fib about air passengers watching the movie "Cocoon" when turbulence hits, spilling water from the screen and causing the airliner's life rafts to inflate.

The Burlington Liars Club got its start in 1929 when local journalists Otis Hulett and Mannel Hahn fabricated a news story about a lying contest between the Burlington police and fire departments. The police chief won after he said he'd never be good at lying because he never told a lie.

From those beginnings, the club expanded to about 2,000 members around the world, said Eddie Impens, the club's vice president. It's headquartered in Burlington, a town about 35 miles southwest of Milwaukee.
Impens, who owns a lumber company, said most of this year's entries came from Wisconsin, though one arrived from Canada. He expected more entries from France, which historically has produced the best lies entered from overseas, he said.

A telephone conversation with Impens is fraught with lighthearted skepticism. He answers questions easily, but occasionally adds with a quick laugh, "You know, I could be lying to you about all this." A lifetime membership in the Liars Club costs $1. It grants the holder the right to submit an unlimited number of fibs each year.

Concocting a good lie isn't a matter of diligence, Seehawer said. Usually, the spark of an idea pops into his head, and he lets it percolate for a while before typing it out and submitting it. He came close to capturing the club's top honor about 12 years ago with the observation that a winter breeze was so stiff it blew off his brother's bald spot, leaving him with a full head of hair.

"A good lie isn't just a tall tale or exaggerating," he said. "You have to have something fun, not believable but impossibly true."

The Young And Restless...

2009-01-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

WICOMICO CHURCH, Va. (Jan. 6) - A 6-year-old Virginia boy who missed his bus tried to drive to school in his family's sedan -- and crashed.

His parents were charged with child endangerment. State police said the boy suffered only minor injuries and authorities drove him to school after he was evaluated at a local hospital for a bump on his head. He arrived shortly after lunch, Sgt. Tom Cunningham said.

It happened around 7:40 a.m. Monday on Route 360, about 61 miles east of Richmond.
The boy, whose name wasn't released, missed the bus, took the keys to his family's 2005 Ford Taurus and drove nearly six miles toward school while his mother was asleep, police said.
He made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.
The boy told police he learned to drive playing Grand Theft Auto and Monster Truck Jam video games.
"He was very intent on getting to school," said Northumberland County Sheriff Chuck Wilkins. "When he got out of the car, he started walking to school. He did not want to miss breakfast and PE."
His parents, Jacqulyn Deana Waltman, 26, and David Eugene Dodson, 40, are each charged with child endangerment, Wilkins said. Waltman is being held without bond. Dodson was released on a $5,000 bond.
It was not clear if they had attorneys.
The boy and his 4-year-old brother were placed in protective custody.
"This really is a story of miracles," Wilkins said. "The Lord was with him, along with everybody else on the highway."

Be Quick, Be Quit... ?

2009-01-04T17:13:00.000-08:00

CHICAGO - The robber's threatening note made a Chicago bank job easy to solve: The FBI says the suspect wrote it on his pay stub.

An FBI affidavit says the man walked into a Fifth Third Bank on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot." The robber got about $400 but left half of his note.

Investigators found the other half outside the bank's front doors.

Authorities say that part of the man's October pay stub had his name and address.

The suspect was arrested at his Cary home. A judge ordered him held without bond Monday. If convicted of bank robbery, he faces 20 years in prison.

Play Some Mario Kart, Lady...

2008-12-30T11:46:00.000-08:00

Police say a woman taking a driving test ended up pinning a bystander after losing control of the car on a snowy Westchester County road. New Rochelle police said the 23-year-old driver rounded a corner Wednesday morning, lost traction and trapped a man cleaning snow off his car. Lt. George Marshall says the examiner tried to use the test car's secondary set of brakes, but they failed.

The 33-year-old bystander has been taken to a hospital with leg and shoulder pain.

50 kids get wiis and get wicked excited...

2008-12-28T23:50:00.000-08:00

50 kids happy to get a Nintendo Wii for Christmas - watch more gamer videos

You'll shoot your eye out... FOR REAL...

2008-12-26T18:02:00.000-08:00

A 16-year-old boy was in University Hospital awaiting surgery this afternoon after a BB he shot ricocheted off a tree and struck close to his eye, Syracuse police said.

The boy, whom police have not immediately identified, was wounded about 2:30 p.m. in the backyard of 203 Crafton Ave., Lt. Joe Cecile, speaking for Syracuse police, said. He had been shooting a BB rifle with his uncle when a shot ricocheted off a tree, Cecile said.

The BB lodged very close to the boy's eye, and may have entered the eye socket, but did not seem to affect the eye, Cecile said.

HILARIOUS!

2008-12-26T15:59:00.000-08:00

Ohhh.. me so Corny...

2008-12-26T15:52:00.001-08:00

...still hate Rachael Ray....

Library Closes. Man cries.

2008-12-26T15:49:00.000-08:00