Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Best Thing I've Seen In...

4EVER! Thanks to Justin... It's an ad for Diesel, with animated layovers over pornography, acting like an animated version of Pierre Bismuth's whited out pornography "swimsuit models"...


Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

Monday, September 29, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008

2nd Life Relationship Gone Bad...


Kimberly Jernigan--a 33-year-old woman from North Carolina--was apparently distraught after her online relationship with a 52-year-old man from Claymont, Del., came to an end.
The pair apparently met through the online community Second Life and began a virtual relationship. The two finally met in reality several months ago, and the alleged victim ended the relationship, sending Jernigan into a downward spiral.

Kimberly Jernigan met her virtual ex-boyfriend in Second Life.
(Credit: CBS3.com)
In early August, Jernigan allegedly drove to the victim's Pennsylvania workplace and attempted to kidnap him at gunpoint, according to local news station CBS3.com. When she was unsuccessful, according to the report, she returned two weeks later to track down the victim's Delaware address, and posed as a postal worker to do so. After four days of searching, authorities said she found residence in the Whitney Presidential Towers on the 7100 block of Society Drive in Claymont.
On August 21, police said, Jernigan broke into the unnamed victim's apartment with a Taser, a pair of handcuffs, a BB gun, her dog, and a roll of duct tape. He wasn't there, so she waited. When the virtual ex arrived home he saw what looked like a laser beam projecting on his chest. He immediately fled the apartment and contacted the Newcastle County Police.
When police arrived they said they found Jernigan's dog, Gogi, bound with duct tape in the bathtub of the victim's bathroom. Jernigan's reason for gagging her pooch--"he was making too much noise." The dog was said to be uninjured, but the ASPCA is looking into possible charges of animal cruelty.
Approximately an hour after the incident, authorities in Maryland spotted Jernigan's vehicle at a rest stop on I-95. She was taken into custody after a brief struggle. Jernigan is currently facing charges of attempted kidnapping, burglary, and aggravated menacing, CBS3 said.

FREAK.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

PROFESSOR JENKEM...

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - A Colorado Springs elementary school principal has apologized for making students look inside a bag of human feces and urine.

(AND SHOWING THEM HOW TO MAKE JENKEM!>>!??)

Peyton Elementary Principal Michael Auclaire said he wanted to make a point to the students because someone had been leaving human waste on the floor and toilet seats in a girl's lavatory.

Some parents complained Auclaire's actions were inappropriate and created a health risk.

Auclaire said he has apologized in person to the students and by letter to their parents. He said he realized it was "not the best thing to do."

Auclaire said the students were given janitorial gloves to wear before holding the bag and were told to wash their hands afterward.

The incident took place Monday and Auclaire apologized Tuesday.

Monday, September 8, 2008

SMACKED WITH MY 8 INCH SAUSAGE

FRESNO, Calif. - Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

Fresno County sheriff's Lt. Ian Burrimond says 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and socks after the Saturday morning attack.

He says deputies arrested Vasquez after finding a wallet containing his ID in the ransacked house.

The farmworkers told deputies the suspect woke them Saturday morning by rubbing spices on one of them and smacking the other with an 8-inch sausage.

Burrimond says money allegedly stolen was recovered.

PORNO-Myte!

Bill "the ever so smart republican" O'Reilly Flips the Fuck Out

Frog Bros.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Help me...

TRENTON, N.J. - Cries for help inside a Trenton, N.J., home turned out to be for the birds. Neighbors called police Wednesday morning after hearing a woman's persistent cry of "Help me! Help me!" coming from a house. Officers arrived and when no one answered the door, they kicked it in to make a rescue.


But instead of a damsel in distress, officers found a caged cockatoo with a convincing call.

It wasn't the first time the 10-year-old bird named Luna said something that brought authorities to the home of owner Evelyn DeLeon.

About seven years ago, the bird cried like a baby for hours, leading to reports of a possible abandoned baby and a visit to the home by state child welfare workers. But it was only Luna practicing a newfound sound, DeLeon says.

DeLeon says her bird learns much of her ever-growing vocabulary from watching television, in both English and Spanish.

"I" Suck...

BOISE, Idaho - The Idaho Vandals football team is dumping the letter "I" from the buttocks region of players' new pants following a season-opening 70-0 loss to the Arizona Wildcats.

Rob Spears, the school's athletic director, says nobody realized just how the logo placed in the center of the players' behinds would look before they tried their pants on.

Spears told the Idaho Statesman the sewn-in University of Idaho logo has since been hastily removed by equipment managers after complaints.

Spears says there was a miscommunication with equipment supplier Nike over the placement of the logo.

"I was disappointed with the look and the appearance," Spears says. "It's changed."

As a result, the Vandal pants will be logo-less when the team's players suit up for their game this Saturday with Idaho State University.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

I Kissed A Girl...

BLACKLICK, Ohio -- A church in the Columbus area is turning heads with its public spin on the pop song "I Kissed a Girl."
A sign outside Havens Corners Church in suburban Blacklick has the lyrics from the song's chorus, "I kissed a girl and I liked it" -- and adds, "Then I went to hell."
Singer Katy Perry topped the charts earlier this summer with the song, about a girl kissing another girl.
Church pastor the Rev. Dave Allison said the Bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin, so the sign is intended as a loving warning to teens.
He said it has confused some people who either don't know the song or don't understand the message.
Director Lynne Bowman with the gay rights group Equality Ohio said what the sign means to her is that the church isn't very accepting.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

ANYBODY SEE

Little Piper Palin licking her hand and rubbing brother Trig's head... FUCKING GROSS... if you can't teach your children about health (germs, how you end up preggers, etc.).... how the Hell do you convince America you're fit to lead!?!?



p.s. cause we all know McCain is dead in 16 months... tops...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Sausage... Party...




Event Info
Host: Quint, Jon Peck, and Jon Agnee


Type: Party - Barbecue


Start Time: Saturday, September 6, 2008 at 8:00pm
End Time: Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 8:00am
Location: Our Place, APT 1L
Street: 127 tompkins ave
City/Town: Brooklyn, NY

Phone: 3155609936

Email: quintstevenson@yahoo.com


Description
So, we will have lived here for 2 months by the time this party rolls around, but it took us an entire month to get the place in working order... come over, eat some sausage, drink some drinks and hangout on our patio and/or the roof... fun times... party doesn't stop until the bodega 20 feet from the loft runs out of beer... bring friendly, cool artist-types, don't bring douche-bags or jerks...

Monday, September 1, 2008

** UPDATE **

McCain's election team is now reporting that Bristol did not have Trig... BUT she was carrying the baby all day to cover up a baby bump of her own: she's 5 months preggers...